First things first, apologies for missing yesterday! It seems I was more focused on meeting friends for drinks!
Year End
Blogging has been an interesting experience thus far. This venue and format have proven to be both cathartic and challenging! Overall enjoyable for this virgin experiment.
Cathartic in the sense that I've enjoyed sharing thoughts and anecdotes far more than I could have anticipated, and have proven to myself that I am far more disciplined a writer than had been previously suspected.
Challenging in the sense of publication and anonymity, sharing with friends and industry peers while keeping my personal identity separate. My original vision of blogging was much more interactive than it has proven to be thus far.
Thoughts on 2010
In the new year, I hope to have comments and submissions from readers sharing funny stories or believe it or not moments experienced while working, because we all have them, and sometimes they are just too good to keep to yourself!
So in wrapping up 2009, I've done all I can think of to get the ball rolling for HRSpout...Blogspot, Twitter, Facebook, really hope you have enjoyed my efforts thus far!
Wishing you a safe, prosperous and Happy New Year!! Bring on 2010!!
And we're off...
Thursday, December 31, 2009
Tuesday, December 29, 2009
I've Done This Before....Thanks!
Usually in the field of HR, you are safe assuming most people have no clue about your day to day responsibilities or what it takes to get things done behind the scenes. I have always maintained HR done effectively is seamless and invisible.
When it comes to the visible parts, like event planning, oh buddy get ready!! Everyone is an expert on my job!! REALLY!! Do I pass your desk and tell you the who-zit should be connected to the gizmo, or critique how your project is coming along? No, because I am not an expert in what you do daily or otherwise, that's what we hired you for!
All I'm saying is, throwing a party is not quite the same as pulling off an event! If everyone could do it, they would! Yes some of the components are the same, but for starters the scale is larger, there are people have a stake in the outcome, lots more chiefs than indians and there are actually nuances of intent and messaging you have to convey without beating anyone over the head with it, oh and don't forget the mundane aspects like permits, valet parking, security etc...it goes on and on, its not your parents anniversary party folks!
So maybe the next time you want to offer some advice or try and muscle your way into the action because you think party planning is easy and fun, remember this...I've done this before...Thanks!
And we're off...
When it comes to the visible parts, like event planning, oh buddy get ready!! Everyone is an expert on my job!! REALLY!! Do I pass your desk and tell you the who-zit should be connected to the gizmo, or critique how your project is coming along? No, because I am not an expert in what you do daily or otherwise, that's what we hired you for!
All I'm saying is, throwing a party is not quite the same as pulling off an event! If everyone could do it, they would! Yes some of the components are the same, but for starters the scale is larger, there are people have a stake in the outcome, lots more chiefs than indians and there are actually nuances of intent and messaging you have to convey without beating anyone over the head with it, oh and don't forget the mundane aspects like permits, valet parking, security etc...it goes on and on, its not your parents anniversary party folks!
So maybe the next time you want to offer some advice or try and muscle your way into the action because you think party planning is easy and fun, remember this...I've done this before...Thanks!
And we're off...
Monday, December 28, 2009
Best Days of the Year!!
The days between Christmas and the New Year are the best days of the year!!
Everyone is happy, more cooperative than usual and ready to wrap up for the year, getting I's dotted and T's crossed!!
Its the time of year when no matter how much anyone has pissed me off during the year, its done, forgotten and time to move on!
Its that time of year that allows me quiet reflection since most people have taken vacation days, and their absence means vacation from their bullshit at work, time to appreciate how their general insanity challenges me to learn and grow and be genuinely happy to see them in the new year!
Bonus points are extended lunches with folks I don't usually spend much time with, sale shopping, extra facebook and twitter time...basically all the things I'm sure we will be creating policies for in the new year! So for right now this little fox is going to continue guarding the chicken coop and enjoying every holiday minute of it!
And we're off...
Everyone is happy, more cooperative than usual and ready to wrap up for the year, getting I's dotted and T's crossed!!
Its the time of year when no matter how much anyone has pissed me off during the year, its done, forgotten and time to move on!
Its that time of year that allows me quiet reflection since most people have taken vacation days, and their absence means vacation from their bullshit at work, time to appreciate how their general insanity challenges me to learn and grow and be genuinely happy to see them in the new year!
Bonus points are extended lunches with folks I don't usually spend much time with, sale shopping, extra facebook and twitter time...basically all the things I'm sure we will be creating policies for in the new year! So for right now this little fox is going to continue guarding the chicken coop and enjoying every holiday minute of it!
And we're off...
Wednesday, December 23, 2009
Empathy...Bah! Humbug!
Not to long ago we hosted a management seminar regarding the in's and out's of managing people. All the usual buzz words and behaviors were covered as well as a few new topics. Everything was going fine until we hit my personal red bulls eye word...EMPATHY.
EMPATHY by definition means:
the action of understanding, being aware of, being sensitive to, and vicariously experiencing the feelings, thoughts, and experience of another...Yes, ok, I'm fine with this, and encourage it without reservation.
Empathy in the workplace however has morphed into a strange beast that is hell bent on making us embrace mediocrity! Call me old fashioned, but when you take a job I believe you should be able to perform the job, and if your not up to speed on certain aspects, get the information/training you need and get up to speed tout suite (quickly)!
The very idea that a person cannot perform their job, cannot learn the necessary information to be able to perform their job, is not interested enough in their own abilities to task themselves to learn their position etc...is pure crap, and I for one am not letting them off the hook for it nor am I remotely interested in cutting them any slack over it!
Add in the rosy glow of Gen X and Yers who have little concept of, or patience for learning things they are not interested in, having to execute the non glamorous portions of their job as well as the fun stuff, and heaven for bid pay their dues and work their way up, and now I have to be empathetic while they are having the millionth meltdown over blah, blah, blah, and why weren't they promoted, after all they have been working for six solid months...OH PLEASE!!
So my final words on the subject go something like this...get over it, learn your stuff, do your job, wait your turn, and have your meltdowns with friends, off campus, over a latte...because I still have plenty of work to do!
And we're off...
EMPATHY by definition means:
the action of understanding, being aware of, being sensitive to, and vicariously experiencing the feelings, thoughts, and experience of another...Yes, ok, I'm fine with this, and encourage it without reservation.
Empathy in the workplace however has morphed into a strange beast that is hell bent on making us embrace mediocrity! Call me old fashioned, but when you take a job I believe you should be able to perform the job, and if your not up to speed on certain aspects, get the information/training you need and get up to speed tout suite (quickly)!
The very idea that a person cannot perform their job, cannot learn the necessary information to be able to perform their job, is not interested enough in their own abilities to task themselves to learn their position etc...is pure crap, and I for one am not letting them off the hook for it nor am I remotely interested in cutting them any slack over it!
Add in the rosy glow of Gen X and Yers who have little concept of, or patience for learning things they are not interested in, having to execute the non glamorous portions of their job as well as the fun stuff, and heaven for bid pay their dues and work their way up, and now I have to be empathetic while they are having the millionth meltdown over blah, blah, blah, and why weren't they promoted, after all they have been working for six solid months...OH PLEASE!!
So my final words on the subject go something like this...get over it, learn your stuff, do your job, wait your turn, and have your meltdowns with friends, off campus, over a latte...because I still have plenty of work to do!
And we're off...
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
Accounting for Beans
As mentioned previously HR and Accounting usually have a close working relationship with various input and concerns regarding budgeting, recruitment, training, forecasting etc., which for the most part have parameters set and guidelines discussed.
So with all the previously mentioned big ticket items, why oh why am I crucified over ordering supplies?
No Joke!! I received an email from the CFO asking why I order so many coated paperclips and boxes of pens!! REALLY!!! I order one box of pens at the end of every year, which will last through the end of the next year! The same with paperclips, one box of coated colored paperclips which include both regular and jumbo size, and I am viewed as being a spend thrift!!
Well it all comes down to this, lets look at the money wasted on some of the useless mid-level Bobs who have yet to demonstrate any intrinsic company value and compare these $$$$$$$$ to my annual staples supply invoice $$. Account for them beans why don't cha!!
And we're off...
So with all the previously mentioned big ticket items, why oh why am I crucified over ordering supplies?
No Joke!! I received an email from the CFO asking why I order so many coated paperclips and boxes of pens!! REALLY!!! I order one box of pens at the end of every year, which will last through the end of the next year! The same with paperclips, one box of coated colored paperclips which include both regular and jumbo size, and I am viewed as being a spend thrift!!
Well it all comes down to this, lets look at the money wasted on some of the useless mid-level Bobs who have yet to demonstrate any intrinsic company value and compare these $$$$$$$$ to my annual staples supply invoice $$. Account for them beans why don't cha!!
And we're off...
Monday, December 21, 2009
E = mc2
HRSpout Theory of E = mc2 explained, aka, a message to Micro-managers wherever you are...
E = Energy
The energy it took for you to stand over me explaining the little crap you should be able to do yourself, but are too out of touch, since there have been several new incarnations processes which you have not bothered to stay up to date on, so you would not actually know how to do it yourself anymore, but still feel the need to tell me how its done...the old fashioned obsolete way!
M = Mass
The massive amounts of nano-seconds of my life lost listening to you blather on about this stupid shit, demonstrating yet again that you clearly have no concept of how we have progressed in the field of Human Resources and can now do things online, with carriers and vendors, some of it even in real time!
C2 = C squared/square of the speed of light
The actual time it takes me to log on and get some of these things done, but i let you think its laborious so I can somewhat count on your complete unwillingness to learn, to bolster my necessity for we hope a wee bit longer...in theory.
And we're off...
E = Energy
The energy it took for you to stand over me explaining the little crap you should be able to do yourself, but are too out of touch, since there have been several new incarnations processes which you have not bothered to stay up to date on, so you would not actually know how to do it yourself anymore, but still feel the need to tell me how its done...the old fashioned obsolete way!
M = Mass
The massive amounts of nano-seconds of my life lost listening to you blather on about this stupid shit, demonstrating yet again that you clearly have no concept of how we have progressed in the field of Human Resources and can now do things online, with carriers and vendors, some of it even in real time!
C2 = C squared/square of the speed of light
The actual time it takes me to log on and get some of these things done, but i let you think its laborious so I can somewhat count on your complete unwillingness to learn, to bolster my necessity for we hope a wee bit longer...in theory.
And we're off...
Friday, December 18, 2009
Royale Follow Up
Today we decided it wasn't going to work and let the newbie go, nip that one in the bud before it becomes a problem!
Had to help B-Movie star find a new dentist, it seems he chipped a tooth recently!
A few of us took the the poky little puppy for goodbye lunch...he topped it off with two Michelob's...nice touch...lol!
Still decompressing , not much else to say right now!
Back in my corner on Monday and ready to come out swinging!
And we're off...
Had to help B-Movie star find a new dentist, it seems he chipped a tooth recently!
A few of us took the the poky little puppy for goodbye lunch...he topped it off with two Michelob's...nice touch...lol!
Still decompressing , not much else to say right now!
Back in my corner on Monday and ready to come out swinging!
And we're off...
Thursday, December 17, 2009
Holiday Royale 2009
I'm sitting here basically doing my best impersonation of a root vegetable, thinking of what to open with. Truth be told, we pulled it off once again and fun was had by all! In no particular order...here we go!
Newbie
Our most recent hire (12/07) decided our holiday party was not mandatory and made other plans...well, after all, they did consult with our receptionist...REALLY!! Ever watch people hire the wrong person, even after you have told them repeatedly this is not a good choice...TOLD YA SO!! Your going to want popcorn for this show, cause the ending will be spectacular!
Receptionist
One of my direct reports, ignores the litany of emails I sent regarding timing, tasks and availability of our runner for breaks etc., day of our party! So after I give them their task lists that must be executed first thing in the morning, yes, this is the exact time to take a break, oh and while on that break run home and get your dish for the potluck, because it is all about you, your outfit, and your store bought Santa cake!! Briefly touched upon the issue yesterday and was met with major tude, discussed today in more detail after my second set of aspirin kicked in!
Awards and Prizes
This year, I was selected most likely to star in a Broadway musical...why is it so flippin hard to just win best office space!!
The raffle prizes provided the biggest tickle of the day because, not only did I win one of the two lunch on the company dime certificates, my daily lunch buddy and best friend won the other one!! HILARIOUS and 100% random!!! So many people expressed interest in going to lunch with us, never mind they could have gone at anytime before we had the certificates, no worries...We've started a wait list, ranking will be done in order of people who are least likely to talk about work at lunch and those who don't make me consider bitch slapping them at least once a day...short list really, should be easy!
Most Likely to Star in a B Movie went to the person who beat me out for Best Smile last year...I feel vindicated, his teeth are crooked anyway! He received the Rocky Horror Picture Show DVD, picked out by yours truly...tehehe:)
Most Likely to Brighten Up a Bad Day was handily won by one of our resident pooches! Have to say we all got that one right, she was so happy to receive her brand new squeaky toy in front of everyone then ignored us the rest of the day!
Biggest Story Teller, won by a guy who has been with us less than one year and has been late almost everyday since he started, but the stories are always involved and amusing. Most recently he shared the news his girlfriend is pregnant, so his prize was the children's book, The Poky Little Puppy's First Christmas! Oh yeah, he gave his resignation on Monday! Woo Hoo!!
Food and Drink
Very nice selection of food available, even after I weeded out all the dishes I would not eat because I know certain people do not wash their hands before leaving the restroom.
Drinks plentiful as always. I did miss the annual drunk Bob show when one of them starts hitting on any of the new young blonde staffers and their spouse falls off the steps onto whichever poor soul is standing right below them...last year it was me...good times!
Live Performances
Not as bad as anticipated. Still basically like a full on audition with a captive audience, but for those who are still impressed with working in entertainment and music it was a treat and remains one of the many things that set us apart from the hum drum corporate world. The rapper briefly looked my way while he was freestyling, I think my return stare let him know it was not going to be a good idea to say anything about me, he finished without incident...good boy!
Donations for the Homeless
Proud to say the box runneth over with new socks, tshirts, and undies in all sizes, for men, women and children! Will be taking those over to our local homeless shelter next week!
In summary, every year I swear this party and preparation is going to kill us, because people just do not have a clue how hard HR works to make it look seamless and easy, and every year when I've had enough and am completely over it, the party starts, the bubbly flows, the hugs are plentiful, people are happy, laughter fills the air, and I think we might just make it after all.
And we're off...
Newbie
Our most recent hire (12/07) decided our holiday party was not mandatory and made other plans...well, after all, they did consult with our receptionist...REALLY!! Ever watch people hire the wrong person, even after you have told them repeatedly this is not a good choice...TOLD YA SO!! Your going to want popcorn for this show, cause the ending will be spectacular!
Receptionist
One of my direct reports, ignores the litany of emails I sent regarding timing, tasks and availability of our runner for breaks etc., day of our party! So after I give them their task lists that must be executed first thing in the morning, yes, this is the exact time to take a break, oh and while on that break run home and get your dish for the potluck, because it is all about you, your outfit, and your store bought Santa cake!! Briefly touched upon the issue yesterday and was met with major tude, discussed today in more detail after my second set of aspirin kicked in!
Awards and Prizes
This year, I was selected most likely to star in a Broadway musical...why is it so flippin hard to just win best office space!!
The raffle prizes provided the biggest tickle of the day because, not only did I win one of the two lunch on the company dime certificates, my daily lunch buddy and best friend won the other one!! HILARIOUS and 100% random!!! So many people expressed interest in going to lunch with us, never mind they could have gone at anytime before we had the certificates, no worries...We've started a wait list, ranking will be done in order of people who are least likely to talk about work at lunch and those who don't make me consider bitch slapping them at least once a day...short list really, should be easy!
Most Likely to Star in a B Movie went to the person who beat me out for Best Smile last year...I feel vindicated, his teeth are crooked anyway! He received the Rocky Horror Picture Show DVD, picked out by yours truly...tehehe:)
Most Likely to Brighten Up a Bad Day was handily won by one of our resident pooches! Have to say we all got that one right, she was so happy to receive her brand new squeaky toy in front of everyone then ignored us the rest of the day!
Biggest Story Teller, won by a guy who has been with us less than one year and has been late almost everyday since he started, but the stories are always involved and amusing. Most recently he shared the news his girlfriend is pregnant, so his prize was the children's book, The Poky Little Puppy's First Christmas! Oh yeah, he gave his resignation on Monday! Woo Hoo!!
Food and Drink
Very nice selection of food available, even after I weeded out all the dishes I would not eat because I know certain people do not wash their hands before leaving the restroom.
Drinks plentiful as always. I did miss the annual drunk Bob show when one of them starts hitting on any of the new young blonde staffers and their spouse falls off the steps onto whichever poor soul is standing right below them...last year it was me...good times!
Live Performances
Not as bad as anticipated. Still basically like a full on audition with a captive audience, but for those who are still impressed with working in entertainment and music it was a treat and remains one of the many things that set us apart from the hum drum corporate world. The rapper briefly looked my way while he was freestyling, I think my return stare let him know it was not going to be a good idea to say anything about me, he finished without incident...good boy!
Donations for the Homeless
Proud to say the box runneth over with new socks, tshirts, and undies in all sizes, for men, women and children! Will be taking those over to our local homeless shelter next week!
In summary, every year I swear this party and preparation is going to kill us, because people just do not have a clue how hard HR works to make it look seamless and easy, and every year when I've had enough and am completely over it, the party starts, the bubbly flows, the hugs are plentiful, people are happy, laughter fills the air, and I think we might just make it after all.
And we're off...
Wednesday, December 16, 2009
Spouting off Royally...tomorrow!!
In the throws of holiday party set up, MC, prizes, awards, performances, schmoozing, pouring, sipping, piling plates, spilling, herding, clean up, bust down, tear up, throw out, escorting, calling cabs, snatching keys and just generally hanging out when we have a moment!
Will catch you up over the next two days!!
And we're off...
Will catch you up over the next two days!!
And we're off...
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
Too Busy to Spout!
HRspout is too busy with final details and set up for our office Holiday party!!
Will report out tommorrow with a multitude of anecdotes for your holiday reading pleasure!
And we're off...
Will report out tommorrow with a multitude of anecdotes for your holiday reading pleasure!
And we're off...
Monday, December 14, 2009
IT Knows It All...
Ordinarily I would tell any person working in HR, your two biggest departmental allies will always be IT(Information Technology) and Accounting, anyone who denies it is clueless and lying!
Here the big bonus is IT knows everything!! Why bother bringing in professionals and representatives for health plan and dental questions, etc...IT can answer them all. It is really something to behold.
Example:
We had occasion to have a special dental open enrollment, we thought it important our broker and dental representative be on site to answer questions about switching plans, dentists, coverages etc...(I insist on doing this so employees have another point of reference to get the same information I tell them all year long).
So when the questions start, I kid you not, guess who has an answer for everything? IT!! How much will crowns cost under PPO, what about cosmetic dentistry services, how do I change dentists...IT ANSWERED ALL THE QUESTIONS!!! Well Damn, it appears the answers were here all along, right under our noses!!
Ever had to cut off someone in front of people without being offensive and they are totally oblivious as to why you are doing it, only to have them continue doing it because they think they are being uber helpful!! AWKWARD!! OMG!!
I wish I could say this was an isolated incident, but I would be lying! This is clearly a way of life for this person...how do I know, its simple...this special open enrollment meeting happened the day before our lifer lunch...three guesses who sat across from me at the lifer lunch?? Two guesses who answered any question lobbed out to the general gathering, including deciphering items on the MENU!! One answer...IT Knows It All!
And we're off...
Here the big bonus is IT knows everything!! Why bother bringing in professionals and representatives for health plan and dental questions, etc...IT can answer them all. It is really something to behold.
Example:
We had occasion to have a special dental open enrollment, we thought it important our broker and dental representative be on site to answer questions about switching plans, dentists, coverages etc...(I insist on doing this so employees have another point of reference to get the same information I tell them all year long).
So when the questions start, I kid you not, guess who has an answer for everything? IT!! How much will crowns cost under PPO, what about cosmetic dentistry services, how do I change dentists...IT ANSWERED ALL THE QUESTIONS!!! Well Damn, it appears the answers were here all along, right under our noses!!
Ever had to cut off someone in front of people without being offensive and they are totally oblivious as to why you are doing it, only to have them continue doing it because they think they are being uber helpful!! AWKWARD!! OMG!!
I wish I could say this was an isolated incident, but I would be lying! This is clearly a way of life for this person...how do I know, its simple...this special open enrollment meeting happened the day before our lifer lunch...three guesses who sat across from me at the lifer lunch?? Two guesses who answered any question lobbed out to the general gathering, including deciphering items on the MENU!! One answer...IT Knows It All!
And we're off...
Friday, December 11, 2009
There is Only so Much technology I will Embrace
Over lunch a friend and I discussed previous employers and jobs we've held. We were basically bitching about our respective pay cuts and how similar our paychecks were to several years and jobs ago:( After a few minutes I actually felt better because I realized at least i am no longer wired for sound.
In a previous life, I was an Account Manager/Field Representative that had to be available 24/7 via, cellphone, pager (yes, i said pager) voicemail, email, bat signal and red phone. It was overwhelming at times, but the pay and commission checks more than compensated for the imposition on my personal life.
Today, working what I jokingly refer to as my non-profit / community service job, at least I have the freedom to say there is only so much technology I will embrace!
So far a blackberry, on which I enjoy more personal than work related use, has proven to be sufficient! Stepping back and appreciating the present, never hurts from time to time!
And we're off...
In a previous life, I was an Account Manager/Field Representative that had to be available 24/7 via, cellphone, pager (yes, i said pager) voicemail, email, bat signal and red phone. It was overwhelming at times, but the pay and commission checks more than compensated for the imposition on my personal life.
Today, working what I jokingly refer to as my non-profit / community service job, at least I have the freedom to say there is only so much technology I will embrace!
So far a blackberry, on which I enjoy more personal than work related use, has proven to be sufficient! Stepping back and appreciating the present, never hurts from time to time!
And we're off...
Thursday, December 10, 2009
Cube Disease
It is general knowledge, most employers have the same general layout when it comes to office environments, cubicles for most, offices for VP's and C-suites. Given this prevalent rule of thumb, it is amazing to witness people breezing through corridors only speaking to those in offices...Huh...REALLY?
Example:
Employee A had been a label executive in a previous life. When they hired on here, we only had cubicles available, no big deal, new kid starts where they start. Employee B begins corresponding with Employee A via email regarding various projects and deadlines, seems as though things are clipping along...until Employee B flies into town (on their broom)! When Employee B sees Employee A seated in a cubicle, icicles form and the ice age is upon us once again! (I neglected to mention Employee A was seated directly across from the office of Employee C). From that day forward, Employee B would fly into town and treat Employee A like Employee C's assistant!! If it weren't so truly obnoxious, I swear I would have stood right there and wet my pants from laughter! Fortunately Employee A had a great sense of humor, the patience of a saint, and wanted to ride it out for a little bit.
Flash forward, Employee A has now been promoted and moved into an office...three guesses who breezes into town and now meets and greets like they had never met before??
Moral of the story...cube disease is a stinky perfume, nobody wants a whiff!
And we're off...
Example:
Employee A had been a label executive in a previous life. When they hired on here, we only had cubicles available, no big deal, new kid starts where they start. Employee B begins corresponding with Employee A via email regarding various projects and deadlines, seems as though things are clipping along...until Employee B flies into town (on their broom)! When Employee B sees Employee A seated in a cubicle, icicles form and the ice age is upon us once again! (I neglected to mention Employee A was seated directly across from the office of Employee C). From that day forward, Employee B would fly into town and treat Employee A like Employee C's assistant!! If it weren't so truly obnoxious, I swear I would have stood right there and wet my pants from laughter! Fortunately Employee A had a great sense of humor, the patience of a saint, and wanted to ride it out for a little bit.
Flash forward, Employee A has now been promoted and moved into an office...three guesses who breezes into town and now meets and greets like they had never met before??
Moral of the story...cube disease is a stinky perfume, nobody wants a whiff!
And we're off...
Wednesday, December 9, 2009
Lifer Lunch (Life-er) (MWB)
Today we have our annual Lifer Lunch for those who have been with the company five years or more! Traditionally it's a big deal for new inductees, who receive a very posh designer pen, and a warm welcome from those of us who have survived both trench and gorilla warfare to arrive at this point!! The only people more important than the newbies at the lifer lunch are the Decades (ten plus years - they receive special surprise gifts), of which there are currently five...Group totals 20 people this year!!
Our office is located near a very popular destination area, which has a myriad of culinary choices to suit every palette. Usually, we gather in the lobby and walk en masse to a swanky restaurant near by, which works best for all involved because inevitably there is a conference call or meeting someone has to finish up or leave early to attend.
For their part, the Bob's are in rare form when we start planning each year as this event is very personal and important to them, so important that we start planning this lunch a month in advance, so important that every detail is micromanaged, so important that Chief Bobs wife picks a lunch spot that we now have to drive to because its her favorite lunch spot, so important that Chief Bob has scheduled a lunch meeting with other people because Chief Bob forgot about our lifer lunch today!
The reality is, noone is surprised and really the most important thing is that we have Chief Bob's credit card, so things are looking up! And we're off...
Our office is located near a very popular destination area, which has a myriad of culinary choices to suit every palette. Usually, we gather in the lobby and walk en masse to a swanky restaurant near by, which works best for all involved because inevitably there is a conference call or meeting someone has to finish up or leave early to attend.
For their part, the Bob's are in rare form when we start planning each year as this event is very personal and important to them, so important that we start planning this lunch a month in advance, so important that every detail is micromanaged, so important that Chief Bobs wife picks a lunch spot that we now have to drive to because its her favorite lunch spot, so important that Chief Bob has scheduled a lunch meeting with other people because Chief Bob forgot about our lifer lunch today!
The reality is, noone is surprised and really the most important thing is that we have Chief Bob's credit card, so things are looking up! And we're off...
Tuesday, December 8, 2009
Some of My Best Friends Are Programmers (MM)
Not sure what level of exposure your average worker has to design and web development, but there is a particular breed of folks therein that just tickles my funny bone...The Programmers! I swear these people have made it through the evolutionary chain untouched, and their purity is awe inspiring!
Flash back and imagine my delight when we find ourselves recruiting for a programming position, and I unearth and interview this guy who is just the living embodiment of Adrian Monk!!
Some people are put off by quirky, I say pop some popcorn and enjoy the show! In this case it was summertime, so we had fresh fruit around the office and I had fresh grapes in a bowl on the table. Courtesy dictates I offer programmer some grapes, thinking it would break the ice a bit too. Small talk and now we are a few questions into the interview, programmer has not taken his eyes off of the grapes. Now asking more pointed questions, programmer is talking to the grapes, now asking for examples and programmer is giving examples to the grapes....no eye contact at all!!
Thinking this can't be as funny as I think it is, and still conducting the interview, I decide to see how far we can go with this, so I move the grapes ever so slightly, without hesitation programmer reaches out and moves them back!! Hilarious!! Trying not to laugh out loud, I now reach for the grape he was going to take, and am met with an awkward stare and for a brief moment all conversation stops!!
Their is a brief interruption and I see the end in sight, programmer has actually pulled off the interview on many levels, no eye contact and grape obsession aside, and will be meeting with the design team next for a panel interview.
As I push back from the table and reach forward to shake hands with programmer, I knock the bowl of grapes off the table into the trash can...programmer lunged sideways trying to save the grapes from certain inedible destruction, but was too late. Certain this moment hurt programmer more than myself, the only think left to do was share a moment of silence and walk out the door.
And we're off...
Flash back and imagine my delight when we find ourselves recruiting for a programming position, and I unearth and interview this guy who is just the living embodiment of Adrian Monk!!
Some people are put off by quirky, I say pop some popcorn and enjoy the show! In this case it was summertime, so we had fresh fruit around the office and I had fresh grapes in a bowl on the table. Courtesy dictates I offer programmer some grapes, thinking it would break the ice a bit too. Small talk and now we are a few questions into the interview, programmer has not taken his eyes off of the grapes. Now asking more pointed questions, programmer is talking to the grapes, now asking for examples and programmer is giving examples to the grapes....no eye contact at all!!
Thinking this can't be as funny as I think it is, and still conducting the interview, I decide to see how far we can go with this, so I move the grapes ever so slightly, without hesitation programmer reaches out and moves them back!! Hilarious!! Trying not to laugh out loud, I now reach for the grape he was going to take, and am met with an awkward stare and for a brief moment all conversation stops!!
Their is a brief interruption and I see the end in sight, programmer has actually pulled off the interview on many levels, no eye contact and grape obsession aside, and will be meeting with the design team next for a panel interview.
As I push back from the table and reach forward to shake hands with programmer, I knock the bowl of grapes off the table into the trash can...programmer lunged sideways trying to save the grapes from certain inedible destruction, but was too late. Certain this moment hurt programmer more than myself, the only think left to do was share a moment of silence and walk out the door.
And we're off...
Monday, December 7, 2009
Recruitment and Email Addresses (JMM)
Having just completed another round of recruiting for several positions, I am still amazed with the lack of attention focused on the use of personal email addresses!
Its incredible to me, a person could be so diligent in their preparation of a cover letter and resume, then expect me to respond to roundmounds38@hotmail.com or bigolepipe@gmail.com (fictitious email addresses...I'm hoping). Its just not going to happen.
HELP ME HELP YOU!
Two thing I appreciate and it may help those who aren't quite clear on the subject:
Email accounts/addresses are free, so create a generic one to use for employment correspondence. Remember simple is best.
Or
Use your alumni email address for submissions and resumes, and have it forward to you personal email account. In addition to being clean,simple and straight forward, it verifies that you are indeed an alumni of the schools you have listed on your resume.
Very basic I know, but making my job that much easier, brings you one step closer to being employed. And we're off...
P.S...resumes with photos are the same as holiday photo cards....NO NO NO!
Its incredible to me, a person could be so diligent in their preparation of a cover letter and resume, then expect me to respond to roundmounds38@hotmail.com or bigolepipe@gmail.com (fictitious email addresses...I'm hoping). Its just not going to happen.
HELP ME HELP YOU!
Two thing I appreciate and it may help those who aren't quite clear on the subject:
Email accounts/addresses are free, so create a generic one to use for employment correspondence. Remember simple is best.
Or
Use your alumni email address for submissions and resumes, and have it forward to you personal email account. In addition to being clean,simple and straight forward, it verifies that you are indeed an alumni of the schools you have listed on your resume.
Very basic I know, but making my job that much easier, brings you one step closer to being employed. And we're off...
P.S...resumes with photos are the same as holiday photo cards....NO NO NO!
HRSpout Office Hours
Monday through Friday - all hours of inspiration
Saturday and Sunday - rest and relaxation
Holidays - as needed
and we're off...
Saturday and Sunday - rest and relaxation
Holidays - as needed
and we're off...
Friday, December 4, 2009
Holiday Poke
Writing about our Holiday party yesterday jogged a memory of last year's festivities, decided to share a slice with you and poke fun at myself...
Background: We decided to create the Best of the Most List, best office area, best laugh, most friendly, biggest storyteller, best smile, biggest flirt, most likely to secretly be a superhero, etc...and the winners would receive fun silly prizes.
Thinking I was a shoe in for best office area or best smile, you can imagine my surprise when the votes kept rolling in and I find myself runner up, a difference of one vote, for BIGGEST FLIRT!!!!! How wrong is that!! HR Manager winning biggest flirt!! Lies, jealousy and misunderstandings I tell you! Needless to say, I have learned to stop joking around about matching underwear, and maybe I should cut back on the hugging, but I draw the line at the smiles, because I should have won that category dammit!!
Doing Best of the Most again this year, changed some of the categories, one has been eliminated...Only you, me and my boss will ever know how close that one was!!
And we're off...
Background: We decided to create the Best of the Most List, best office area, best laugh, most friendly, biggest storyteller, best smile, biggest flirt, most likely to secretly be a superhero, etc...and the winners would receive fun silly prizes.
Thinking I was a shoe in for best office area or best smile, you can imagine my surprise when the votes kept rolling in and I find myself runner up, a difference of one vote, for BIGGEST FLIRT!!!!! How wrong is that!! HR Manager winning biggest flirt!! Lies, jealousy and misunderstandings I tell you! Needless to say, I have learned to stop joking around about matching underwear, and maybe I should cut back on the hugging, but I draw the line at the smiles, because I should have won that category dammit!!
Doing Best of the Most again this year, changed some of the categories, one has been eliminated...Only you, me and my boss will ever know how close that one was!!
And we're off...
Thursday, December 3, 2009
Office Holidays (MWB)
Picture it, a mandatory staff meeting in which we are all told we will be taking immediate pay cuts, and experiencing layoffs, but don't worry the office holiday party is still on...for those of you that make the cut (qualifies as an HR nightmare)!!
The only way to top this would be to then gather the holiday Bob's committee, and commence to throwing out ideas for a party that shows no sensitivity to the sacrifices you just asked of your entire staff...so here we are!
I must admit there are genuine moments of amusement, especially considering how completely out of touch some executives come across but for now its:
Office Potluck with assorted beverages and liquor provided
Donations of socks and underwear for the homeless
three live screeching performances...hmmmmm
and a partridge in the proverbial pear tree
One of these things is not like the others...all works in progress...and we're off!
The only way to top this would be to then gather the holiday Bob's committee, and commence to throwing out ideas for a party that shows no sensitivity to the sacrifices you just asked of your entire staff...so here we are!
I must admit there are genuine moments of amusement, especially considering how completely out of touch some executives come across but for now its:
Office Potluck with assorted beverages and liquor provided
Donations of socks and underwear for the homeless
three live screeching performances...hmmmmm
and a partridge in the proverbial pear tree
One of these things is not like the others...all works in progress...and we're off!
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
Favorite Things (HMG)
1. Our old receptionist who would complain bitterly about being cold year round while sitting at reception in a spaghetti strap t-shirt...yeah put on some clothes, 40 year old boobs aren't the draw they used to be! Final note, when her space heater blew the circuit board and took the entire building out for a day or two, she moved up to t-shirts with cap sleeves:)
2. Who doesn't love the office holiday party and Secret Santa exchanges, especially when you pull your friends name out of the hat and decide the perfect gift under $20 is a bag of weed!
Really happened, still friends with both on facebook:)
3. Depending on the size of the company, HR frequently doubles as the facilities team, so when you call me about the toilets being backed up, it may not be a good time to strike up a conversation about the new cleansing program you just started...final note, everyone has been put on notice cleansing begins friday evenings at home...please and thank you!
4. Don't we all love the I'm too sexy for the office girl, who complains to HR that men are leering at her, and its making her uncomfortable...really hooty mcboob!! OK well , after sexual harrassment and sensitivity training, lets spend some time considering clothes that aren't hanging on for dear life.
5. Ahh the office romance...a few pointers, make sure they are not a basket case to begin with, don't try to find little projects for them to do in your division, not a great idea to sign a lease and move into the apartment building next door to the person, oh and when it all goes horribly wrong, don't keep sleeping with the person for months, and not introduce them to your parents when they are touring the office meeting everybody else you work with....final note, they are friends with each other on facebook, so it must have worked out somehow:)
And we're off...
2. Who doesn't love the office holiday party and Secret Santa exchanges, especially when you pull your friends name out of the hat and decide the perfect gift under $20 is a bag of weed!
Really happened, still friends with both on facebook:)
3. Depending on the size of the company, HR frequently doubles as the facilities team, so when you call me about the toilets being backed up, it may not be a good time to strike up a conversation about the new cleansing program you just started...final note, everyone has been put on notice cleansing begins friday evenings at home...please and thank you!
4. Don't we all love the I'm too sexy for the office girl, who complains to HR that men are leering at her, and its making her uncomfortable...really hooty mcboob!! OK well , after sexual harrassment and sensitivity training, lets spend some time considering clothes that aren't hanging on for dear life.
5. Ahh the office romance...a few pointers, make sure they are not a basket case to begin with, don't try to find little projects for them to do in your division, not a great idea to sign a lease and move into the apartment building next door to the person, oh and when it all goes horribly wrong, don't keep sleeping with the person for months, and not introduce them to your parents when they are touring the office meeting everybody else you work with....final note, they are friends with each other on facebook, so it must have worked out somehow:)
And we're off...
HR & Popular Culture Legend
Popular culture has finally exposed office environments in all their respective glory, and I fully intend to be a part of it!
The best, brightest and most enduring have been brilliantly illustrated by:
Dilbert
Monk
The Office (Across the Pond and Stateside)
Office Space
Jerry Maguire (really just one line)
Overtime you will find my posts peppered with references to any of these, for example:
Jerry Maguire Moment (JMM) - Help Me Help You
Monk Moment (MM) - Anything clearly OCD and hilarious
Meeting with the Bobs (MWB) - hot air sessions with consultants and executives
Hot Mess Gumbo (HMG) - a whole lot of everything and all of it wrong
Just wanted to get this established up front, so going forward we can focus on the task at hand...and we're off
The best, brightest and most enduring have been brilliantly illustrated by:
Dilbert
Monk
The Office (Across the Pond and Stateside)
Office Space
Jerry Maguire (really just one line)
Overtime you will find my posts peppered with references to any of these, for example:
Jerry Maguire Moment (JMM) - Help Me Help You
Monk Moment (MM) - Anything clearly OCD and hilarious
Meeting with the Bobs (MWB) - hot air sessions with consultants and executives
Hot Mess Gumbo (HMG) - a whole lot of everything and all of it wrong
Just wanted to get this established up front, so going forward we can focus on the task at hand...and we're off
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
Meet & Greet
December 1st, 2009, as good a day as any to create one's very first blog entry!
I am a Human Resources Manager, working in Southern California, in what is fondly referred to as the entertainment industry, big umbrella, not as impressive as one would think!
My blog, HRSpout, will hopefully serve as a place where I can share my observations, thoughts and opinions that may be otherwise to sharp and/or biting for my daily audience (co-workers and peers). The main reason to contribute to this blog is to hopefully share the often hilarious side of human resource encounters, few if any are allowed to witness, and give you a sense of how things are often perceived by those who work on our side of the counter!
Be very clear, this blog is not meant to demean anyone, nor is it setting out to address any real concerns you may have about specific situations in your workplace. If I were to sum it up in terms of the only applicable equation I learned and retained from high school chemistry...
For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction.
Apologies in advance for grammar, punctuation, sentence structure...I'm a fairly quick study and should be up to speed shortly! On second thought, don't hold your breath! And we're off...
I am a Human Resources Manager, working in Southern California, in what is fondly referred to as the entertainment industry, big umbrella, not as impressive as one would think!
My blog, HRSpout, will hopefully serve as a place where I can share my observations, thoughts and opinions that may be otherwise to sharp and/or biting for my daily audience (co-workers and peers). The main reason to contribute to this blog is to hopefully share the often hilarious side of human resource encounters, few if any are allowed to witness, and give you a sense of how things are often perceived by those who work on our side of the counter!
Be very clear, this blog is not meant to demean anyone, nor is it setting out to address any real concerns you may have about specific situations in your workplace. If I were to sum it up in terms of the only applicable equation I learned and retained from high school chemistry...
For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction.
Apologies in advance for grammar, punctuation, sentence structure...I'm a fairly quick study and should be up to speed shortly! On second thought, don't hold your breath! And we're off...
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