HRSpout

New Blog Location!

2010-04-19T17:51:00.000-07:00

HRSpout will be closing this account as of Friday, April 30th, 2010!

I've moved over to Wordpress!

The address is listed below for your convenience:

http://hrspout.wordpress.com

Hope to see you there!

And we're off...

Moving Up n Over...to Wordpress!

2010-04-16T15:29:00.000-07:00

HRSpout has moved its blog to Wordpress!

http://hrspout.wordpress.com

New look and changes still in the making!

Hope to see you there!

And we're off...

Social Media Phase 1

2010-04-09T18:45:00.000-07:00

I've been working so hard researching and gathering info for our 2010 Blitz Campaign and it finally paid off today! Gave a presentation of our current landscape and where we need to be going which was received well!

Next steps should be unfolding quickly, you could be reading about us in various social media formats shortly!

Will seek and appreciate your interaction, support and feedback!

Looking forward to meeting you and seeing you on the web!

And we're off...

Update: HRSpout Office Hours

2010-04-05T18:37:00.000-07:00

Current projects have required a change in posting schedule:

New Post will appear once a week, until I get back on track!

Monday through Friday - remain hours of inspiration

Saturday and Sunday - rest and relaxation

Holidays - as needed

and we're off...

The Worst Former Employee EVER

2010-03-30T18:07:00.000-07:00

C-suite
Not happy about separation or terms thereof
Not inclined to get with the program on any level
Determined to call/email us rather than the folks we pay to administer Cobra
Wants to know why his transition to cobra coverage was not seamless
Feels we don't know what we are doing because we did not elect cobra for him
Does not understand lack of election correlation to lack of health plan coverage
Does not understand information was detailed in letters sent by Administrator
Sends a nasty email saying he just received everything I have mentioned
Does not understand when he says they just sent it I am looking at a copy of the letters dated 1.5 months ago, address and other information verified.
Does not understand I receive copies and reports detailing his lack of election
Does not understand why he should work with administrator to resolve issue
Does not understand emailing and calling everyone is not a good plan of action
Does not understand how BOMB DIGGITY I am for getting this crap resolved
Does not say Thank you after having been such a total and complete jerk!
Does not realize that just about everyone we've released over the years has figured this stuff out without a problem.

I have come to understand, indeed he's going to need his cobra in place to see his specialists...to remove my foot from way up his #%* and help his breath not smell like my leather shoe polish! Which is why I made it happen!

I feel better!

And we're off...

Ready for Our Close-Up!

2010-03-26T19:03:00.000-07:00

Had a great meeting about our social media efforts going forward!

Happy to report, we will finally be getting our name out there in social media land, on a consistent basis! Yours truly will be a good part of heading up the efforts!

Keeping you posted from the front lines on all the relevant feeds and behind the scenes in my blog, could make for some interesting tidbits now and then!

Interested in seeing where it all leads!

Friday and all is well that ends well!

And we're off...

It's No Big Deal...

2010-03-25T17:42:00.000-07:00

Trust me! It's usually a pain in my ass big deal when someone says its no big deal!

Background:
In an ongoing effort to streamline process and budget, I now handle supply ordering where I used to manage the person doing the ordering! Our history of indulging whims and creature comforts has always been way over the top for my taste, so here's my chance to rein it in and get this train on the right track!

Last Friday:
Sent out an email about ordering supplies, received several orders from three different catalogs! Yeah, not going to happen! I chose the one vendor who could provide all the items and be the most cost effective in the process.

Today:
Order arrives, everything fine, except I had ordered letter, 3 tab, center cut file folders! Sacre Bleu!!! What did I do that for? Hmmm, you mean a file folder is not just a file folder? My bad!! And then the infamous statement...its no big deal.

Really!! Is that why you complain to the receptionist, who wrote the form for you because your too lazy to do it yourself? Is that why you then have a discussion with your boss, who by the way i checked with and indeed confirmed it was no big deal and should not be an issue? Is that why you offered to take it back yourself and exchange it for the one you really wanted, because its no big deal?

Mea Culpa:
Since I placed the order and made the decisions, I did offer to have them exchanged, to which I received another...its no big deal (with major tude, a slumped shoulder shrug, and a pouty look)!

Conclusion:
Let me just make this plain and clear...when its really no big deal, we take what we get, use what we need and generally just cope! If not having the exact thing you wanted is going to throw your whole day, sweetheart, I've got news for you...

And we're off...

I Hope I Never...

2010-03-24T18:03:00.000-07:00

Yeah, the high has dissipated, the buzz has died, and here we are, smack dab in the middle of snark central!

It seems the higher up we go in any company, the less we are capable of doing for ourselves! Chronically amusing unless your the person(s) these ridiculous requests are falling upon.

The following list is based on things heard and observed over the past few days, wonder if any will be familiar to you!

I hope I never:

walk past the copier twice to ask someone to make a copy for me...STAT

ask someone to go pick up my or my family's rx and refills, some things should be a surprise

ask someone to go to my home and pick up items for return that cost more than their annual salary.

get to the point where a slice of pizza is no good without stinky designer cheeses, truffle oil and some bubbly to wash it all down with.

ask someone to pick up a gallon of paint near work and bring it to my home 40 miles away, rather than go to home depot or Lowe's myself, one mile away from the house.

Anyway, you get my point! I clearly understand when time is better spent elsewhere doing very important things and keeping a business going, but sometimes ridiculous is just ridiculous, no matter the source!

And we're off...

Ever Been at Work and Not Been There?

2010-03-22T18:22:00.000-07:00

It happened today! Have to say I was no where to be found today! Oh, I was sitting at my desk, but so many miles away! These last two weeks have hit me like no other I've known,seemingly simple yet packing punches.

First Daylight Savings Time snuck up and really threw me for a loop! Honestly had never been affected by the time change before, but this year, seriously dragging the wagon! Just getting up to speed and now BOOM! Spring!

After what had been a much needed and appreciated rainy season (El Nino), even I, rarely affected by weather, whole heartedly welcomed Spring, to the point of being giddy! An now it seems I have an acute case of cabin fever! Just itching to be outside, walking my dog, gardening anything that takes you up and away from the daily grind!

List of accomplishments today:

Sorted mail
submitted expense reports
decided I want an ipad
twitter here and there
reconciled medical billing
reconciled dental billing
decided to pre-order an ipad
check twitter
filed for extension on moving violation and traffic school
played with some of the office dogs
back at my desk to post on blog
going to apple store to see about ipad!

Normally I am a highly effective, efficient and productive individual!
However, if your reading this, just in case you've experienced this type of day too, you should know your not alone!

And we're off...

I Feel the Earth Move Under My feet...

2010-03-19T18:19:00.000-07:00

I feel the sky tumbling down! Its revealing a brand new day!

There has been a profound shift like no other I have felt to date.

Its an odd thing to see people, normally confident, suddenly off their game, and in its own way be a good thing!

Its a great thing to see new people thrive and shift with the tide, unencumbered by the history, feelings and drama of previous years!

Change is indeed scary and a very good thing! Lets you know your alive!

Change makes you challenge yourself, your perceptions and continually nudges you to move forward, daring you to try something new!

The tide is indeed turning, the earth is steadily moving under my feet, and I'm feeling pretty good about my balance!

And we're off...

Keep Hope Alive!

2010-03-18T19:02:00.001-07:00

One day after my virgin conference experience, I am please to report there is life out there beyond my daily hr existence and it looks very promising!

It was awe inspiring to be in a convention hall full of HR professionals! So many funny stories, some many common experiences, so many of the same observations, so many people looking for ways to make their environment better for their employees! Really rejuvenating experience!

My definitive statement to those who have lost hope for gainful employment:

There is work out there to be done, and we are busy planning on how to get you all back in the doors, doing these jobs! Yes its going to be a challenge, but know that we are working on it daily and figuring out how to make the return a positive and more enriching experience for all involved!

Keep hope alive!

And we're off...

Joining In

2010-03-16T18:15:00.000-07:00

For years I have considered myself a GDI (Gosh Damn Individual) not a joiner by any stretch of the imagination! Never interested in being hip or cool, never needed to do the "In" thing or be at the happening places, just doing my own thing, with my people, if it crossed paths with others efforts, great, but not really going out of my way!

We've turned a corner! Getting involved a bit more day by day! All thanks to social media and these constant blurbs of information I can no longer live without! Just giving me the quick and dirty so I can decide if I'm interested, in a format I find enjoyable and not to intrusive has made a world of difference, and I've decided to welcome the change!

Tomorrow, I will be attending an HR convention for the first time, and later joining three professional organizations as a dues paying member! Should have done it years ago, but always had access through others so it wasn't a priority. Is this change career driven, Absolutely, and about damn time!

Its really embarrassing it took me this long to realize I can do these things on my own terms, be as involved as I wish! The big lesson learned, take yourself seriously and others will have too as well! You'll lose no part of yourself by doing so!

Go ahead, throw your hat in the ring, join in!

And we're off...

The Lollipop Guild

2010-03-15T18:15:00.000-07:00

We've added some new blood to the talent pool. Most of the time additions are welcome, but sometimes you just have a feeling from the start its not going to be good! Enter the Lollipop King! Who began as a consultant, then lightning struck, thunder roared across the plains and whoosh...he's a new senior executive! Really something to behold!

All smiles and sunshine as a consultant, now dismissive and actually looks and talks down to people, which is amazing at only only 4'9". This is really the first time I have seen a Napoleon complex in its full blown glory and good lord does that baby has some fire behind it!

As with anything, we don't have to like the people we work with, but we do need to get along, work together to achieve set objectives and common goals!

So if I need to imagine him driving to work in his clown car, I do it because it makes me smile and laugh, while reinventing the wheel.

If I think of him attending power lunches with his feet swinging underneath the table while someone cuts his meat, that's just how I have to do it!

If I chuckle because I think underneath his power suit is a Spiderman undershirt and briefs, well its just what helps me keep a smile on my face while being simultaneously ignored and talked down to!

One of the most important things I have learned in life is to let people determine their relationship with me. If your cool, I'm cool, even if everyone else hates your guts, I can hang until you make it personal. Your basically given all the rope you need to either make a great big bow or hang yourself several times over.

We all have our coping mechanisms, not all of them are nice, but when it works it works!

And we're off...

To sick to Spout

2010-03-12T18:19:00.000-08:00

This one has taken me down for the count!

Sweating it out this weekend!

Love, Peace and Soul

And we're off...

Told Ya So!!

2010-03-11T18:18:00.000-08:00

Coming down with a sinus cold, going downhill quick!

The good news is I finally hooked everything up on the cell...could have, should have months ago, but finally took care of it today! Told you I would find a way to do my thang! Social media shadow monitors be damned...HA!

Turned out to be the brightest part of my day...Tylenol cold and sinus handled the rest!

Taking my lethal toddy tonight (NyQuil liquid caps with a theraflu chaser) should be back right as rain tomorrow! Coming out of my corner swinging!

And we're off...

The Trouble With Being Good

2010-03-10T18:10:00.000-08:00

As you may or may not know, my current position is HR Manager. However for the last few days, I have been filling in as the quasi executive assistant to our CEO! You read it right, executive assistant! Sucking the big one!!

It all started eight years ago, when I started with this company as a temp on a one day assignment! I filled in one day, for the executive assistant and it took off from there!

Two months later that assistant quit, I was offered the job, no thank you! I wanted to concentrate on being HR coordinator.

The previous executive assistant returned, stayed for three, four or so years, quit, I was offered the job, no thank you! I wanted to concentrate on being HR Administrator.

The next executive assistant and second assistant arrived, first assistant was fired, I was offered the job, no thank you. I was quite happy being HR Manager.

Second assistant steps up to first and is now out ill or on vacation all the time, guess who is the ONLY person the CEO is comfortable with handling their business...Oh Yeah!! No thank you! Even though I know in some severely backwards way its a total compliment...right...lol!

Let's see, I've been offered the job on four separate occasions, and turned it down each time, yet still end up doing the job in the interim.

Each time I curse myself because if I had just been a complete dud the first time, this personal nightmare would never have happened. This is the trouble with being good at what you do!

Lest you think I am feeling sorry for myself, i am not! I have the power to change my situation should I really feel it necessary...but my ever present fallback creeps in my head gently whispering...its shit but its warm...translation, i like my job, I'll keep it a while longer, thank you, even if i have to do nuisance work like fill in for the executive assistant to the CEO from time to time.

Besides,I get even in my own way, trust...tehehe!

And we're off...

New Week, New Reality

2010-03-09T17:42:00.000-08:00

First and foremost, apologies for not posting yesterday! Came back to the office and quite frankly was off my game!

New rules folks! It appears we will be monitoring social media usage, which will severely impact my current ability to post whenever I feel like it! How would it look if I didn't follow the standard set? On the other hand...hmmm, is a blog considered social media?? Never fear, i will find a way to make it work, but its going to be tricky for now!

So many people, with new nicknames I want to tell you about, none of which will be politically correct, so if you consider yourself sensitive, gird your loins,cause its coming! Hey, HR folks have to vent too!

This will have to be it for today!

Such a tease I know.

And we're off...

Mental R&R Part 2

2010-03-04T18:06:00.000-08:00

Out of office Thursday and Friday!

Apologies for not posting in advance:(

HRSpout back Monday!

Enjoy!

Peace, Love and Soul...

Policy Wonk

2010-03-03T18:18:00.000-08:00

So here is the problem, attempting to put policies in place for social media usage.

At this point my being involved is like Joseph P. Kennedy establishing rules and regulations for the SEC...AFTER he made a huge chunk of his fortune from insider trading, oh and bootlegging! I knew my degree in history would come in handy someday!

The best approach is going to have to be realistic and moderate! Facebook, Twitter and everything in between are here to stay blending seamlessly with our work and personal lives more and more every second. When your clients have fan pages and twitter accounts, are you not supposed to follow them? How do you regulate the time spent on legitimate social media pursuits?

Oh well, jumping in and treading water (while tweeting and fb-ing) until we figure it out!

And we're off...

HR Coke Wars

2010-03-02T18:09:00.000-08:00

A collection of barbs traded between myself and a few of our resident artistic types.

Suffice it to say, we often give as good as we get!

Enjoy!

-----Original Message-----
From: A
Sent: Wednesday, March 05, 2003 11:15 AM
Subject: RE: Coke Machine

Help me...
I can't cope w/out Diet Coke. I'm losing my friggin mind! God help us all !!!!

Warm Regards,

A

-----Original Message-----
From: HR Manager
Sent: Wednesday, March 05, 2003 11:07 AM
Subject: Coke Machine

Get a hold of yourself man!!

The driver will be here on Friday to service and fill the machine with diet coke etc.....just try to cope until then please!!

I knew you would have the final word with this...Help is on the way!

-----Original Message-----
From: A
Sent: Wednesday, August 20, 2003 5:48 PM
Subject: RE: COKE MACHINE

I"m melting.....

A

-----Original Message-----
From: HR Manager
Sent: Wednesday, August 20, 2003 4:40 PM
Subject: COKE MACHINE
Importance: High

We have already called Coke to have the machine restocked.

We are well aware that the machine is completely empty, well aware that you may melt or worse parish from not being able to quench your thirst with a frosty soda, and well aware of how much you truly need this type of refreshment in this heat!

We maintain complete confidence that you will be able to make it through the coming hours...remember it's always darkest before the dawn!!

In case you missed the point, it will be restocked shortly.....Thanks

Flash Forward, The Hits keep Coming...

-----Original Message-----
From: HR Manager
Sent: Friday, August 31, 2007 10:29 AM
Subject: COKE MACHINE UPDATE
Importance: High

Coke man came this morning.....with no Diet coke left on the truck...seems the call before us took all the diet coke...long story short....go to Ralph's for your fixes folks!! Diet Coke refill slated for Tuesday!

New Info:
the delivery trucks are mostly geared toward stocking bottled beverages now ( cans are apparently obsolete).

Option:
- switch to a bottle vending machine ( 20oz bottles)
- price goes to $1.25
- more flavor options ( see below)

Current Cans
Coke
Diet Coke
Sprite
Dasani Water
Dr. Pepper

20oz Bottle Options
Classic Coke
Diet Coke
Coke Zero
Sprite Zero
Cherry Zero
Tea
Lemonade
Squirt
Cactus Cooler
Sprite
Dr. Pepper
Diet Dr. Pepper

So give me feedback by end of day today, majority rules!!

-----Original Message-----
From: HR Manager
Sent: Tue 9/4/2007 17:24
Subject: COKE MACHINE UPDATE

Still no diet coke.....if detox has started....the hospital is down the street and various urgent cares are in the immediate area....or you ca go to Ralph's :)

-----Original Message-----
From: HR Manager
Sent: Thursday, September 06, 2007 1:30 PM
Subject: Guess who has Diet Coke?

WE DO!!

Human Resources Manager

From: A
Sent: Thursday, September 06, 2007 1:48 PM
To: HR Manager
Subject: RE: Guess who has Diet Coke?

Dear HR Manager [Hey, slacker,]

Thank you for your prompt attention to this matter. [Congrats on getting this tiny task done in under nine months.]

It warms my heart to know that you are looking out for Diet Coke drinkers. My people rejoice! [Phooey to you, we've found other sources of refreshment and don't need your stinking chemical water.]

We are grateful for your kindness. [Ha! NOT!]

Sincerely yours, [Good riddance,]

A [Your worst nightmare]

Which Brings Us to 2009

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
From: A
Sent: Monday, November 30, 2009 11:44 AM
Subject: RE: Changes to the Coke Machine

Can he add a slot for Diet Absinthe?

I believe they are stock piling in Vancouver for the Winter games!

A
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
From: HR Manager
Sent: Monday, November 30, 2009 11:43 AM
Subject: Changes to the Coke Machine

rate has been/will be raised from 75 cents to 1.00 ( coke man came out to audit the machine)

adding a slot for Coke Zero

slots will be as follows:

4 Diet Coke slots
2 Regular Coke slots
1 Coke Zero slot
1 Dr. Pepper slot
1 Sprite slot

and a partridge in a pear tree!

All is well that ends well...lol...if only!

And we're off...

Lost & Found

2010-03-01T17:54:00.000-08:00

As you know I took a few mental health days last week, trying to rediscover my joy!

Turns out my joy is intact pretty much where I left it, just has a whole bunch of crap piled on top of it! I suspect many of us can say the same!

Don't know about you, but I have let myself get too deep in discontent, my favorite saying has been "Its shit but its warm" which I thought made me laugh everyday, but some strange subconscious stuff started working its way in and long story short, it turned on me, and I don't want to be in this space mentally!

To quote a line from Stuart Saves His family...

"Because I’m good enough, I’m smart enough, and doggone it, people like me".

That line still cracks me up!

So now its time to shit or get off the pot! I'll be working on simplifying the things I can and finding more outlets for the things I've found that add value to my life and bring me true joy. If it turns out to boost my career path or career interests along the way all the better!

Don't for a minute think my snarkiness will disappear! Not a chance! I'm just checking myself and making sure I know and maintain the difference between healthy snarkiness and being mean, cause God don't like ugly and mean people really do suck!

Lost and found in a nutshell!

And we're off...

Mental R&R

2010-02-24T18:14:00.000-08:00

will be out of the office Thursday and Friday...rediscovering my joy!

HRSpout back on Monday!

Enjoy yourselves and don't do anything I wouldn't do (you have room, believe me when I tell you..lol)!

Love and Happiness!

Office Housekeeping

2010-02-23T17:18:00.000-08:00

I had a completely different post in mind for today, but a quick trip to the restroom has pointed me in a more immediate direction!

Remember what I said about sugar and spice! This one is tinged with sugar and heavy on the spice!

Tinkle Patrol originally sent April 8, 2004

This one is just for you fellas...

The tinkling has gotten our of control ( specifically on the toilet seats and floors)!!
Needless to say we are asking that you sharpen your aim and take additional care when trying to hit the target or clean up after yourself if you don't quite make it!

We can provide fruit loops and cheerios if you are in need of practice...You've seen the signs...

If you sprinkle while you tinkle be a sweetie and wipe the seatie!!

Hopefully no further clarification is needed..........Thanks

Original sent to our population September 8, 2005
Re-sent to our population February 15, 2007
Good Morning All:

It is time once again to address some on-going issue around our "Campus"

BATHROOMS:
Please be mindful of the amount of TP you are using and please for the love of all that is sacred FLUSH THE TOILETS, and stay to make sure everything you have deposited has gone completely down the chute!! Before you leave the restroom please PUT THE SEATS AND LIDS BACK DOWN!!! We do have important guests coming through frequently and needless to say their senses should not be assaulted with these type of things.

Everyone: Use the air fresheners, they are there for a reason!!
Gentlemen: please be mindful of your aim and clean up any spots in the general vicinity
Ladies: please be mindful of proper disposal of sanitary products
Tooth brushers: When rinsing please be thorough and rinse the sinks as well when you are done.

KITCHEN AREA:
If you take the last cup of coffee, you know who you are, start a fresh pot. The backlash from the caffeine addicts around here should really frighten you!!

NEW: Please bring your coffee mugs to your respective kitchen areas at the end of the day.

If you put food in the refrigerators, please remember to either eat it or throw it out in a reasonable amount of time.

Take your tupperware, gladware etc. home, there is not enough room to store it here.

When throwing out stinky food, please take it directly to the dumpster. Yes one person's rose is another's stinkin' rose, but you get the general idea.

That's it for now.... Thank you to all of you who make these efforts daily without being asked !!

It appears its time for a 2010 dose!

And we're off...

Too much to do...

2010-02-22T17:52:00.000-08:00

too little time!

Extra special HRSpout tomorrow...

the effort will be made anyway:)

And we're off...

The More Things Change...

2010-02-19T17:39:00.001-08:00

So many changes underway!

Change is good...that's what I keep telling myself, and I'm really trying to believe it despite the evidence to the contrary.

Whoever said, irrational is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different outcome, must have known some of the folks I know and work with!

Oh well, despite immense frustration, I choose to believe there is light at the end of this tunnel as well...

Really hoping it's not a train lol...get it...tunnels, lights and trains!

And we're off...

Office Pimps

2010-02-18T17:28:00.000-08:00

Yeah, I said it! We're office pimps! We love dangling them in front of people, teasing them, making them do tricks and jump through hoops to get one! You know you want one, how bad do you want it? What you don't know is the joke is on you when it happens!

The thing I love most about cubicles, especially in our environment, is your out in the open, your in the mix, part of the scene, blended, anonymous and nobody cares what your up to for the most part! You can put your funny pictures up, have funky pens and groovy books, silly screen savers, be a general mess and no one says a thing, as long as you get your work done,its your space and your golden!

I've included a few picks to demonstrate my point...look out!! On the left my buddy goofing in her cube, on the right, part of my beloved hole! Hey, they can't get any close to me than this, its all good!

Offices, here anyway, all glass, sliding doors, the computers are facing out, so everybody walking by can see what your doing, or what your not doing, and believe me everyone looks, can't help it, it automatic! Your on display in your very own fishbowl! Just when you think you've carved out your little corner of our world, people start commenting on your decor, the style police get involved, there's discussions, opinions, whispers, why are they talking to so and so, why is the door closed etc...really its hilarious and ridiculous!

You know the saying...be careful what you wish for, you just may get it!
Beware the office pimps...you may end up longing for the good old days!

And we're off...

Social Media a Go Go

2010-02-17T18:02:00.000-08:00

Earlier today, I was told I will be spearheading a committee for our companies Social Media efforts! Yes you heard it here first...Social Media a go go!

As I have said before many times...HELLO!! I mentioned this two years ago, and nothing! Brought it up periodically and still nothing! Now all of a sudden we are all over it like white on rice! Better late than never...Ok...Let's do it!

Bonus, this could add an extra juicy dimension to my posts, a behind the scenes if you will! On second thought, may have to weigh the pros and cons of exposure on that one! I'll figure it out...trust!

And we're off...

Spoiled Rotten in a Good Way!

2010-02-16T17:46:00.000-08:00

Driving my ten minute commute to work this morning, had a moment when I realized how truly spoiled I've become! How many people are lucky enough to live and work within ten minutes of each other? Driving surface all the way!!

Red light...pause to consider the commutes I've had in the past, and lets just say they were not pretty! If your anywhere in the Los Angeles area and have to touch the 10 or the 405 freeway to get to work, lets be honest, its a curse! I did it for a number of years and had the road rage to prove it! Wasn't fun for the happy morning people in the office either:(

The trade-offs...not being able to listen to a complete CD in the car, forgetting to turn on the radio at times, leaving home even later because you always think your just around the corner and the real kicker, if a new job means going back to a commute, I'd rather stay here and tough it out a bit longer, thanks!

The perks...the lack of an awful commute means I'm able to say good morning and be pleasant, even before coffee!!

Yup rotten to the core! Wouldn't have it any other way...for now!

And we're off...

Naps, Juice and Cookies

2010-02-15T18:11:00.000-08:00

Its a federal Holiday, but not for us!

Morning opens with the runner (25) calling in sick, within the hour the p.m. receptionist (24) calls in without transportation and our a.m. receptionist (21) needs the money but doesn't want to stay because her college friends are in from out of state and its their last afternoon together...Oh the thrill of working with twenty year olds!!

Honestly part of me is so completely envious of their still free spirits and lack of personal baggage, the other part is inconvenienced and annoyed! Believe it or not kids, every now and then I still want to take the day off and hang out with my friends too, but none of us dare do it in this climate, there is too much at stake!

Tomorrow we will be talking about working, dependability, being flexible and responsible. Looking back to early childhood, I now see why our teachers were so excited about nap time for the kids and why we kids were so excited about lining up for juice and cookies!

Take time out, give a little, get a little and every body's happy!

And we're off...

Happy Hearts

2010-02-12T18:07:00.000-08:00

How many times can people wish you a Happy Valentines Day before your just completely annoyed? Turns out it only takes a few! Realizing I was heading down the wrong path with it, I decided to rediscover the path to a happy heart!

We are far to inundated with day to day doom and gloom! Each one of us should take the time to remind ourselves what makes us tick,what challenges us, what makes us smile and laugh out loud, and remember that a lot of it is found in our workplace and among our co-workers, for as you well know, we spend more time at work with each other than we do with our families in many cases.

Today I had occasion to recommend two books that I found helpful in the past:

The Abundance Book by John Randolph Price
Law of Attraction by Michael J Losier

Needless to say when I feel myself going too far down the cranky path, its time to whip out the guru books and work my way back to the center! We each have something brilliant to contribute to this world and each other! Its always better to try to do it with happy hearts!

And we're off...

Blog Crossroads

2010-02-11T17:50:00.000-08:00

The blogosphere is crowded and clogged.

Still in the early stage of the blogging experience (Dec '09), I find I want to commit to blogging and move from the ranks of wannabee to full fledged blogger. But what to say and how to say it, how to keep it personal, fresh, interesting, non repetitive, on topic, relevant or informative is still a challenge.

The simplest comparison to be made, and I can't believe I am about to make it, is Star Wars, The Force, The Empire, The Siths Lords and Jedi Masters! Yup, I did it, had to, sorry!

My point being, any blogger that manages to keep going for months, years and accomplish the afore mentioned goals as well as attract a growing following is clearly a master, the Sith and Jedi versions merely representing dark or light appeal, both clearly accomplished.

So here I sit, young Anakin Skywalker (I wish, I hope), yup did it again, staring down the blog crossroads, ready to enter Jedi school aspiring to the ranks of Yoda yet still feeling a pull toward the dark side, who doesn't love Darth Vadar?

From now on, I'll be reading and learning from all you Lords and Masters, hoping to emulate your ability and success, with a style and voice of my own, and maybe even a few followers!

And we're off...

Parting is Sweet Sorrow

2010-02-10T17:46:00.000-08:00

One of the hardest things an HR person has to do is say goodbye!

There's only two ways a person will leave a job, on their own or with security!

Think about it, the situation is never cut and dry, there's always a story or reasons, not necessarily to be shared, but they exist and contribute to the decisions made. There are no shades of gray either, your either happy to see them grow and move on to other opportunities or relieved they are leaving! In either case your dreading having to try and replace them, if only for a moment.

I can say, this experience is truly where one finds their humanity! When your letting someone go and they have no idea its coming, you can't help but stop for a moment to realize you are changing the entire course of their day, maybe next few days! If you can't feel compassion in that moment, even with someone who has been a total and complete pain in the ass, its time to get out of the game! By the same token its invigorating to see someone find their own path, decide their is something more they want to do and find a new place to make it happen!

However it comes about, parting is sweet sorrow! We are privy to the best and worst people have to offer and learn to handle both with kid gloves and a firm grip.

And we're off...

Cold Etiquette

2010-02-09T17:46:00.000-08:00

Where have all the manners gone? Really, I want to know!

All across the United States of Menthol people are sharing their cold and flu cooties, hacking up lungs and just being generally miserable and gross, poor babies!

I am just going to put it out there, restate the obvious for the rest of us who have made it through cold and flu season with successful if not extreme self medication methods and hypochondriac tendencies...COVER YOUR MOUTH AND WASH YOUR HANDS...FREQUENTLY...please and thank you!

What prompted this you ask? Picture it...

Taking a break, popped a bag of popcorn, had it at my desk, poured out a bowl, had it sitting next to the bag. Two seconds later, someone walks by who just finished coughing into their hand (courtesy of peripheral vision) and proceeds to use that same nasty ass hand to take some popcorn out of my bowl!!!

Did I mention I am two seconds off being a total and complete hypochondriac...OMG...i might not make it through this one without dry heaving!

But wait it gets better...after narrowly averting reflux disaster, my boss who might as well be the poster child for nasty ass cold and flu season, comes out to ask me a question and you can guess what happened next...coughed up a lung, did not cover their mouth and was basically over the same bowl of popcorn!!

Bonus round, gets paged over the loud speaker, picks up my phone to dial reception...THAT IS IT!!! Last straw, I'm done, hugging myself and rocking in the corner, trying to calm down!

Its been hours, have regained my composure, popcorn dumped, buying stock in Lysol and Purell.

People, I'm sorry your achy and sick, and I wish we could all stay home until we feel better, but if you cant, use the etiquette we learned in preschool, cover your mouth and wash your hands...it will all get better soon!

And we're off...

Case of the Mondays

2010-02-08T17:24:00.000-08:00

Oh boy do I have it! I don't know about you, but Mondays are my hump day!

checking voicemail, email, snail mail etc, hoping there were no injuries over the weekend where people didn't have their medical/dental cards, hoping they didn't use a ppo physician when they should have called their hmo physician. Hoping no one moved eight months ago and didn't tell me until now, when they need something. Hoping the same people didn't call in with the same excuses for being out Friday and Monday, maybe they will realize their own pattern this time...Hoping Monday weekly Sr.Mgmt. meeting doesn't yield some huge policy shift we have to implement before 12 noon...Yes, we are keeping hope alive over here!

Some days just getting in the door without incident is a challenge! Wasn't able to do that this morning either! Arrive to find a film crew and a new receptionist with a deer in the headlights look, poor baby, courtesy of our brilliant studio manager! Ever try working with someone who doesn't get it and quite frankly has no hope of getting it anytime soon? A person who's learning curve is more like the road least traveled? Yeah!!

Anyhow, all this to say, Monday is my roughest day of the week, if I get through it, the rest of the week is a piece of cake...chocolate please!

And we're off...

Quiet Riot

2010-02-05T18:16:00.000-08:00

One of my earlier posts referenced a few changes that had been made regarding compensation and personnel (reference Office Holidays post). In a nut shell, our entire company was told we would be taking 10% pay cuts effective immediately, and it would be reviewed again after 90 days.

90 days has come and gone folks and boy oh boy is it about to hit the proverbial fan!

Is it the lack of communication or the new hires...you read it right...NEW HIRES! Three of whom are replacing existing/vacated positions, but the other three...ummm...NO!!

All I am saying is, when you take money away from people you have definitely gotten their attention, and believe me they are watching! The total and complete blatantly arrogant manner in which this has been handled thus far is unbelievable and downright wrong.

In any HR capacity, you may not always be able to share the core details and reasoning behind certain decisions, but the situation should be addressed on some basic level in a straight forward and honest manner, people are owed that much respect for their personal sacrifice.

Until that happens, we'll be here sitting in the eye of the storm, hands tied and surrounded by grumbles, watching the momentum build. Quiet Riot indeed!!

And we're off...

Useless and Amused

2010-02-04T17:54:00.000-08:00

Useless - Finally succumbing to flu symptoms despite having received both the flu shot and H1N1 vaccination! Fought the good fight, when everyone around you is sniffling and hacking in the same recycled air for eight hours straight, five days a week, its only a matter of time! Headache, cold and everything hurts!

Amused - Nothing much to say today except, my dog got listed on twitter, yeah he has a twitter page, long story! Sorry for the duplicate if you follow @hrspout.

Uber Amused - Found E-trade baby mail...hilarious!

Bonus Prizes - Boss out sick all week, Bobs offsite today, birdog (non-supervisor who thinks she supervises everyone) went home early!

Going home to fix my knockout formula...NyQuil liquid caps with a thera-flu chaser!

Not for the faint of heart! Peace out!

And we're off...

Saving Money ;)

2010-02-03T17:45:00.000-08:00

Its the end of a fairly nice day, I am thinking I might make a clean getaway when Chief Bob rolls around the corner and bellows "We can't save money if all the lights are on outside" and had the nerve to be serious!! Really!! Good thing I didn't burst into laughter, wanted to.

This is the same person who drove us crazy during some really difficult rainstorms a few weeks back (reference post Historic...Half Ass)!

During that week, in addition to drips, creeks and leaks, we were tasked with ridiculous things like having the carpets steam cleaned, having lights on and computers working in offices that aren't all occupied, sending out emails to clean up cubicles, ordering a gourmet lunch and my personal favorite ordering logo bearing umbrellas, so they could walk their existing, visiting client through the rain between buildings while conducting a tour of our campus!

While I will allow one or two of these things may contribute to a clients overall impression, I doubt the logo umbrellas are going to put it over the top for anyone! We could have just as easily saved the money, used your average black umbrella, fed them salad and sandwiches, whipped up a couple swag bags and booted them out the door! don't fool yourself, people are serious about swag bags!! Love them, scheme for them, like samples in the grocery store!

Blink and you miss it sometimes...we're back to saving money ;) <-meant to be a wink!

And we're off...

That Look!

2010-02-02T17:45:00.000-08:00

You know the one that says I'm busy working hard don't bother me! Completely admire those who have perfected it!

All the more amusing when people's desks are positioned in front of a window so I can see in the reflection they are playing solitaire or updating facebook and twitter!

Interesting to see the various styles of pretense, the squint eye stare, the straight back dead serious stare, some pull their hair back to look more serious,some put their glasses on,some open several screens and excel spreadsheets to achieve the look, various and numerous practices, all quite amusing!

Here's the thing, we are adults who should know what we need to accomplish in a given day and make strides toward those ends. If you need to take a break to refresh your mind, go ahead, the only time it matters is when you can't strike the right balance, dropping things through proverbial cracks, in which case all I can say is...silly rabbit, tricks are for kids!

And we're off...

Names and Birthdays

2010-02-01T17:34:00.000-08:00

Flashback...first day of school, your new teacher is skipping through roll call, there is a pause, beads of sweat forming on her forehead, yep you guessed it she at my name. I usually had to pronounce it for them, and give it a week to settle in!

The name thing still happens whenever I use my legal name. Even traveling abroad, people find it easier to change it! All this to say, unbunch your panties, when it comes to odd names, with odd spellings, I'm in the club! Lifetime member!

All this came about when sending my simple, easy breezy, little monthly birthdays email! One person had a conniption because her name had an extra "S" in it, and complained to her supervisor that no-one ever spells her name right! Really!! It was a typo lady, and of all days I didn't take my own advise and reread or spell check!

Insert various TPS Report scenes from Office Space and you have my day!

Adding to the overblown big deal, another person had a fit because they did not want to be on the birthday list at all, feeling it invited to many questions about their age...um, its your first name, month and day...but I can see the point on this one, a note has been made to remove from future distributions.

Apparently simple is never easy breezy!

And we're off...

HR Rocks...Can I Get an Amen!

2010-01-29T18:03:00.000-08:00

Literally the week from hell!

Square pegs being forced into round holes, left hand doesn't know what the right hand is doing, so on and so forth! Its a big ole mess and we are smack dab in the bleepin middle of it, when out of the blue, the clouds part, the sun beams rays of light and I am filled with a sense of serenity because there is nothing more I can do about the days cluster f@%$s!!

This is what I wanted to say...

Somebody didn't tell someone else to go to Staples and pick up Grammy tickets, but something needed to be faxed before they left and that didn't happen, so now the tickets won't be released, can't get in without them blah blah....could have gone down to Staples earlier this week like several people and picked them up yourself...good luck with that!

Runner spent the whole day in Beverly hills returning items for Chief Bob's wife, no receipts blah blah...Its not like the woman's busy, and couldn't have returned her own crap...good luck with that!

Food orders got messed up for today and Monday blah blah...turn it over to the folks who handle that and presto bango it goes off without a hitch...good luck with that!

Anyway, you get the general drift!

Reality calls upon a famous scene from Godfather III

"Just when we thought we were out, they suck us back in"

we swoop in, get everything straight, work our magic and pull in the proper resources...HUMAN RESOURCES, pun intended, and the day has a happy ending:)

HR Rocks, Can I Get an Amen!

And we're off...

The Brain Trust

2010-01-28T17:48:00.000-08:00

Offsite/onsite 2 day executive pow wow is now over and wait until I tell you one of the topics of discussion...Food Emails! Yes, you read it right, food emails are derailing the company momentum!

A little background, as mentioned in prior posts, we have great relationships with many of our local restaurants, so naturally we receive their emails for specials and promotions, which we forward to our employees as a matter of general knowledge.

I choose to believe your average person receives email information, decides whether or not it is relevant or of interest and either accepts or deletes the information at hand, either way, we're talking less than half a minute of thought here! To have spent even a moment on this crap in the sequestered offsite/onsite is not really filling me with confidence in our leadership!

Sometimes I wonder what would happen if we changed focus and marketed ourselves as a clown college, clearly we could be industry leaders...but, I digress.

Easy fix, putting them out of their collective misery, will not be forwarding any further food or general knowledge emails, and everyone can refocus their energy on working hard for the brain trust!

And we're off...

Parents, Carpools and Smokers...they figured it out!

2010-01-27T18:14:00.000-08:00

Its official, I'm a little slow sometimes! Honestly just figured it out today! Parents, carpoolers and smokers have the whole working cycle figured out! I used to harbor great resentment but its been replaced with pure admiration!

Big project...no can do, I have to pick Joey up from school. Deadline approaching, you all keep working,I'll be right back, going to go smoke (down the street, around the corner and three paces to the right). Need to stay late, oh wish I could but I carpool and they need to leave on time! Freakin Genius!!

Looks like me and the other sheep need to join a carpool and pick up a bad habit or two...Don't hate the playa(pronounced play-ya), hate the game!! LOL!!

And we're off...

House of Cards

2010-01-26T18:10:00.000-08:00

People are more savvy and better at playing the game these days, but as any good poker player knows, there is always a tell and someone who can read it!

Its interesting to be a business going through changes and watch the exchanges and interactions, power plays, alliances etc. in action. Old or new there is something at stake for everyone and unfortunately there will be casualties along the way!

The balance lies in how you handle self, communications, compassion in your actions toward others, limit your exposure, protect your public image, bolster your corporate message and weigh the timing of decisions. Its ultimately these things which determine if we the business are worthy of the exchange of money for your labor.

Hopefully we still have a few aces in the deck!

And we're off...

Too Many Chefs in the Kitchen!

2010-01-25T18:10:00.000-08:00

Apparently the natural order of the universe blew all to hell this morning, and I am here front and center watching all the pieces fall where they may, broom and dust pan in hand!

Started day with personal appt in a lab with nothing but old people and pregnant women, watching everyone navigate getting on/off the elevators and in/out the doors with bellies and walkers with assorted color tennis ball wheels was strange, hilarious and a smidge annoying because I was in a hurry!

Get to work to find the mountain resort is snowed in, retreat cancelled and now the offsite is onsite starting tomorrow! Oh boy!

CEO's dizzy assistant is all in it, over it, around and through it, and won't get out of it. Asking people with back injuries to help move things, YIKES!! Yeah, no time for ideas and tomfoolery lady, we need to make this happen like yesterday, step aside, I'VE DONE THIS BEFORE!! Leaves promptly at 5:00pm declaring complete and utter exhaustion, cute!!

Taking over the studio for the day, Ditsy Studio Manager, in a constant fog cannot seem to understand what needs to be done, which is block out the studio, listen to what I am telling you, follow my lead, and execute. End of the day,I send a detailed summary email to studio staff who have done this numerous times with me, copy Studio Manager, why do I receive a response asking me what needs to be done??? Nothing sweetie, go back to sleep:)

Chief Bob wants to decide the menu for tomorrow, and will do it tomorrow morning!!
Ok, except if you want breakfast and lunch catered and delivered I usually need to get the orders in as soon as possible! Luckily over the years I have an amazing group of go to restaurants that will take care of my last minute orders stat and perfectly executed. How much you want to bet its going to be one of those places that claims to be set up for catering, but freaks when you place orders for more than 8 people, doesn't have serving dishes to accommodate large parties and they don't really have delivery services lined up regularly!

Can't wait to see how this all works out, I know it will be just fine, the credit will go to all those who did nothing but get in the way, and our natural balance will be restored.

And we're off...

Learning Curves...

2010-01-22T17:32:00.000-08:00

Different for everybody, guess it's all in the approach.

There are those who jump in and want to change everything, those that want to study everything before they make any changes, those who want to let it ride and see what happens, and those that are scared to make a move! Currently working with all of them and let me tell you its interesting.

For my part, I appreciate those who want to jump in, get the lay of the land, do what needs to be done and leave the rest alone, but check in every now and then.

One thing I've learned for certain, you can't learn anything if you think you know everything, and there is always something someone else can teach you!

And we're off...

On the Road Again

2010-01-21T17:31:00.000-08:00

Just found out I'm going on our Senior Management Retreat!! Woo Hoo!!

CEO Executive assistant, busy, time better spent in office wheeling and dealing. My boss, VP of HR, needs to be on site for various reasons, would wiggle out of this any way possible. So here I am, HR Manager / primary default at your service!

This has happened twice before in my tenure here, last minute travel, blah blah, this and that, no sweat, got it covered! I have learned the only thing you need to know is you are there to fetch, find and confirm, fetch, find, change and reconfirm, fetch, find, update changes and reconfirm the confirmations. Keep the boss's various family members shopping, pampered, entertained, fed and happy, and your golden!! Oh and a warm and friendly rapor with the concierge puts everything over the top!

The part that makes me laugh is knowing this group will be much more high maintenance than the celebrities I've been on the road with the two previous times, we all know most executives secretly think of themselves as celebrities anyway right?

Get ready snowy mountain resort, here we come with our big ideas and hot air, I'm sure we'll have that snow melted in no time! More to come I'm sure.

And we're off...

Historic...Half Ass!!

2010-01-20T18:28:00.000-08:00

Switching hats today...HR being changed out for Facilities!

You may have heard or read about the rain we've been experiencing here in Southern California. While we have the great honor of having some of our offices housed in historic buildings, those same buildings can be a bear when the elements kick in...like now!

Four buildings all springing leaks in various places, and each with different guidelines,requirements and allowances for getting things actually fixed! Add to that the threat of flooding, and plumbing issues if the heavy rains persist and you have what we like to call the royal flush!

Imagine dealing with this all week, and your regular work load, only to be asked by your CEO what you've been doing about these things, rattling off status for each issue and basically being told you've done a half ass job! I don't know about you but we burst into laughter!! Of course we are doing a half ass job!! We specialize in half ass jobs...perfected it really! Do us a favor, hire some professionals so we can kick back, eat sandwiches and see how its really done!

Half ass...MY ASS...and blow it out yours while your at it!

I feel better now.

And we're off...

Job Applicants - Help Me Help You!!

2010-01-19T17:32:00.000-08:00

Recently posted a part time position...received 625 resumes!! Reviewing resumes for two other positions as well, drowning doesn't even begin to cover it! Have a few thoughts, just going to throw them out there and see what sticks...most are obvious, you would think!

It is not possible to be qualified for every position posted in a given company, PICK ONE and be realistic, otherwise I'll think your not serious!

Read the job description and read how to communicate with me, do not deviate from either!

If you are applying for a position for which you do not have the background, say exactly that and then tell me about your transferable skills and how it relates to the job your applying for. If I received 625 resumes, what makes you think I will spend the extra time on yours, doing all the work, make it pop people!

Email subject lines - tell me what position you are applying for, helps me sort and get your info to the right pile. If you don't, you get moved to the comeback pile, to which I rarely come back.

Contact info - put the best mode of contact! If its email, that's fine, if voicemail, that's fine to! The less awkward for both of us the better. I don't want to call you on your phone at work if its a problem, so don't list problem contact information!

Four pages...OVERKILL!!

Last but not least, spell check and finish formatting! Nothing more annoying than a person who claims to have excellent written and oral communication, yet I find typos everywhere and your formatting is incomplete!

Your average applicant is competing in a pool of hundreds maybe thousands these days. You have less than half a minute to get any recruiters attention, so don't waste it by missing these few simple steps! Be focused, be clear, be honest and it will come through! Good Luck!

And we're off...

Pet Friendly...All For It!

2010-01-15T17:08:00.000-08:00

Given the right office environment, every office should have a dog!

At the end of what has been a brutal week fraught with questionable decisions, its so nice to walk our campus and see all of our four legged residents bounding about! To be fair, we've had kittens and rabbits too.

I often forget to tell people who visit or interview that we are pet friendly, and am always surprised to see their faces when we encounter one of our dogs! My first reaction is OH SHIT, I hope they like dogs, so far so good, whew!! It doesn't hurt that the dogs are so flipping cute and playful!

There have been numerous studies conducted on the affect animals have in the workplace, all of them positive I think! Would not have believed it until I witnessed it for myself! Now I can't imagine coming to work and not having a dog or pet of some sort around! If your upset and need some air, someone is always willing to let you play with their dog outside. Just need a change of scenery for a minute, grab some treats and go visit a few cubicles. Want to be amused and ignored at the same time, let the kittens out and laugh while they walk across or nap on your keyboard, sending blank emails to people and erasing lines you worked so hard to set to paper...its really mood altering, resets the tone of your day!!

Now please do not think I am suggesting everyone should bring animals to the office, there are citizenship and temperament requirements to be considered! Unfortunately I can't bring my dog in to the office because I am terrified he would mount the CEO's Maltese, quite frankly I'd rather play with him than deal with a lot of people and there is just too much going on in general to try it. But when I first got him at 8 weeks old, he was here with me daily for four weeks, and it made all the difference in the world to me and others to have the option to bring him into the office!

Pet Friendly offices rock!!

And we're off...

Brokers, Carriers and Vendors, Oh My!

2010-01-14T18:12:00.000-08:00

Basic Operating Premise - I am the client!

Back Up Premise - I have done your job before, I know what can be done, don't argue, just fix it!

Final Premise - You will not win because I am the client!

Maybe you can guess what happened...yup disagreement with a vendor.

Its so funny when you can see it coming! Even my boss laughs and says, these people have no idea who or what they are messing with when they start up with me.

A brief synopsis of my work experience would show (in no particular order):

Licensed insurance representative
National Account Manager for a major medical carrier
Brokerage house
Executive deferred compensation
Now firmly entrenched on the employer side

I've done this before!!

Final advice...don't bring a knife to a gun fight!

And we're off...

Always the Boss, Never an Employee

2010-01-13T17:53:00.000-08:00

There are a great deal of good things to be said for the entrepreneurial spirit!

Sure we all have ideas of how we could do things in a different way, improve a process or create a brand new niche that would revolutionize our industry and change the world as we know it...but the truth is, very few are truly brave enough to follow through on the challenge of it all. For those that do, my proverbial hat is off to you!

That being said, there is the curious phenomenon of the boss who has never been an employee...NEVER!! I was absent the day they went over that trick, so here I am, in the flock with all the other sheep and I have a thought to share on the matter:

Having a boss who was never an employee is like trying to be on a team with one of those star NBA players that came straight out of high school! Yeah, your on the same team, but something is missing! You know what it is...the transition, critical to a players growth and expansion to the next level!
That stage in college where they start over, on a team where everyone was a high school All-Star, and they have to prove themselves again, and learn how to work with individuals just as capable as themselves, while developing varied strengths and abilities that build upon and contribute to a winning combination and a championship team!

One of my favorite sayings of all time " One does not have to have been a horse before one can be a jockey" is true, but damn it, the horse has a valid perspective too, and if your not careful, you'll get your star ass thrown off once in a while!

I feel better now.

And we're off...

High / Low Maintenance People

2010-01-12T17:53:00.000-08:00

We all know them, the people who think they are oh so simple and easy! If only!!!
Can we do one thing in this new year...make a unanimous decision to see ourselves the way we really are and embrace it...huh...can we just!! High or low maintenance...OWN IT!!!

Beer Gut Momma who is still trying to blame her midsection on baby weight from her first child (who is now 2 going on 3), um, you had the gut before you were pregnant!I insist you stop telling me about your diet and nutritionist until you actually lose 10 or more pounds visibly, which could happen if you didn't demand we feed you every two hours (not really, but always wants food in meetings).

Switchboard Annie can you stretch out your constant calling from every 5 minutes to every 15 or 30 minutes, so the people you just issued a new set of directives to can actually think and execute something before the next order from on high!

Precious Boy, can you try and change a desk lamp light bulb yourself instead of sitting in the dark for days complaining and waiting for someone to come and do it for you? Daylight and patience only go so far...its still funny to see you get so worked up over it though!

Captain Panic, everything is not an emergency! It just isn't! Lets try and prioritize, maybe establish some color codes and numbers for situations as they arise, it works for the government, I'm sure it can work for us too!

As for my low maintenance people, you are eternal gods in my eyes, don't change a thing! Well...stop apologizing when you actually need something, really its no problem at all:)

This is the plan, so it is written, so let it be done!

And we're off...

Sugar and Spice...

2010-01-11T17:18:00.000-08:00

It occurred to me over the weekend you may think I've gone soft...rest assured, I'm in no immediate danger! Try as I might to be kind, open and accepting, its just not genuine, not from me anyway! Witt, vim and vigor is more my approach to work, people and life for that matter!

As it stands a great deal of my HR intuition is garnered from a natural inclination toward slow and studied acceptance. I'm all about first impressions and gut instincts, and it has served me well! If your the betting type, you could lay serious odds on my personnel predictions!

Sugar is great for those for whom it comes naturally, it has its place and time. Much like the ingredient, Sugar dissipates, is swallowed up, gets masked by other ingredients. Spice stays with you, its the muscle, the key ingredient that can make or break a dish...a little may be too little and too much can turn you off completely!

So here I'll stay constantly adjusting the balance of Sugar and Spice, running 30/70 currently! Honestly the best you can hope for is a 40% Sugar to 60% Spice ratio from the Spout, which will have to be good enough, besides a little spice never hurt anybody!

And we're off...

Grow Up and Fly Away

2010-01-08T17:17:00.001-08:00

Today was our receptionists last day! She has an amazing opportunity and even though she only gave us one days notice, I couldn't help but be happy for her!

It can be a challenging experience trying to manage a persons growth within a company, hell, at times its difficult enough maintaining my own career growth.

So far the lessons learned are these:

The way you communicate and manage other people is a huge responsibility, and a big reflection on you, so do your best!

Lead by example, and remain willing to jump in and role your sleeves up if needed.

If somewhere in your career you are part of management on any level, it is absolutely necessary to take an interest in those people who report to you!

You can't be close friends but you can be supportive and dispense equal parts humor and tough love when the situation calls for it.

Honesty and fairness are the best policy! I don't care if you like me as long as you know I will tell you the truth and will always be fair and equitable in any given situation.

I'm so proud,to be able to tell you these things now, because this is what she said she learned from me over our three and a half years together! And to think she is only 23!! Our relationship wasn't always sunshine and roses, but it appears it was good enough.

Its an amazing thing to see someone taking off! If you have the opportunity to help someone grow up and fly away, do it, you'll be glad you did!

And we're off...

Run for Your Life If...

2010-01-07T17:46:00.000-08:00

Had a brief and spirited conversation today regarding vacation and sick leave time.

The core argument focused on employees not knowing how much time they accrue at what intervals. The basic issue seems to be people tend to think they have more time than they actually do. My argument remains, when there is no standard of reference readily available, pay stubs or employee knowledge terminals, how are they supposed to know? Its just ridiculous that only two people in an entire company of any size hold the key to that information! Honestly, each time you have to ask them for your vacation and sick time information, its like Oliver Twist asking for more porridge!

I personally believe an employee should on any given day know the time they have available for vacation and sick leave and the intervals that time is accrued so they can make an informed decision as to how that time is used! Front and center is better than clandestine cloak and dagger secrecy any day!

In summary, this information is a basic right and I think critical to being a basically happy employee ( you would be amazed at how many lawsuits are based on wage and compensation disputes)!

Run for Your Life if you find yourself working for a company that doesn't provide this basic information up front, because its only the tip of the iceberg! Oh and watch out for free lunches too!

And we're off...

2010 Going Green...Or Are We?

2010-01-06T18:19:00.000-08:00

Greetings and Happy New Year!

First day back in the office, greeted with all kinds of fun stuff!

For whatever reason I was reminded of our 3rd quarter effort at getting on the green bandwagon! Nevermind that I had periodically sent out emails about what we could all do to start making small differences in our workspaces and at large...now we want to do it seriously, and it needs a committee, but shouldn't cost us anything!! Thankfully someone else will be spearheading that campaign.

The idea of trying to be a green company is great, but it does require resources and adaptation of new practices!!

First simple suggestion, everyone have the little banner on their email that says think before printing, why are we told its not going to happen?

We decided to stop buying hot cups in bulk because we have plenty of glasses and mugs around, I kid you not, the President of the company came to my desk and told me to put it back on the shopping list...couldn't be bothered with using a mug and putting it in the dishwasher!

Suggested changing to green cleaning products...nope, too expensive!

Hmmm, sensing a trend yet?

So for now, we will have to be happy with the blue trash bins in every building, and the big recycling dumpster outside...small victories I guess.

The good news is, we have a bunch of tree huggers and vegetarians in our midst (I lump them all together)so it can still happen and probably will happen, just going to be a long climb up that green hill!

And we're off...

Year End Spout, Closing Out 2009!

2009-12-31T15:56:00.000-08:00

First things first, apologies for missing yesterday! It seems I was more focused on meeting friends for drinks!

Year End

Blogging has been an interesting experience thus far. This venue and format have proven to be both cathartic and challenging! Overall enjoyable for this virgin experiment.

Cathartic in the sense that I've enjoyed sharing thoughts and anecdotes far more than I could have anticipated, and have proven to myself that I am far more disciplined a writer than had been previously suspected.

Challenging in the sense of publication and anonymity, sharing with friends and industry peers while keeping my personal identity separate. My original vision of blogging was much more interactive than it has proven to be thus far.

Thoughts on 2010

In the new year, I hope to have comments and submissions from readers sharing funny stories or believe it or not moments experienced while working, because we all have them, and sometimes they are just too good to keep to yourself!

So in wrapping up 2009, I've done all I can think of to get the ball rolling for HRSpout...Blogspot, Twitter, Facebook, really hope you have enjoyed my efforts thus far!

Wishing you a safe, prosperous and Happy New Year!! Bring on 2010!!

And we're off...

I've Done This Before....Thanks!

2009-12-29T17:37:00.000-08:00

Usually in the field of HR, you are safe assuming most people have no clue about your day to day responsibilities or what it takes to get things done behind the scenes. I have always maintained HR done effectively is seamless and invisible.

When it comes to the visible parts, like event planning, oh buddy get ready!! Everyone is an expert on my job!! REALLY!! Do I pass your desk and tell you the who-zit should be connected to the gizmo, or critique how your project is coming along? No, because I am not an expert in what you do daily or otherwise, that's what we hired you for!

All I'm saying is, throwing a party is not quite the same as pulling off an event! If everyone could do it, they would! Yes some of the components are the same, but for starters the scale is larger, there are people have a stake in the outcome, lots more chiefs than indians and there are actually nuances of intent and messaging you have to convey without beating anyone over the head with it, oh and don't forget the mundane aspects like permits, valet parking, security etc...it goes on and on, its not your parents anniversary party folks!

So maybe the next time you want to offer some advice or try and muscle your way into the action because you think party planning is easy and fun, remember this...I've done this before...Thanks!

And we're off...

Best Days of the Year!!

2009-12-28T17:27:00.000-08:00

The days between Christmas and the New Year are the best days of the year!!

Everyone is happy, more cooperative than usual and ready to wrap up for the year, getting I's dotted and T's crossed!!

Its the time of year when no matter how much anyone has pissed me off during the year, its done, forgotten and time to move on!

Its that time of year that allows me quiet reflection since most people have taken vacation days, and their absence means vacation from their bullshit at work, time to appreciate how their general insanity challenges me to learn and grow and be genuinely happy to see them in the new year!

Bonus points are extended lunches with folks I don't usually spend much time with, sale shopping, extra facebook and twitter time...basically all the things I'm sure we will be creating policies for in the new year! So for right now this little fox is going to continue guarding the chicken coop and enjoying every holiday minute of it!

And we're off...

Empathy...Bah! Humbug!

2009-12-23T17:54:00.000-08:00

Not to long ago we hosted a management seminar regarding the in's and out's of managing people. All the usual buzz words and behaviors were covered as well as a few new topics. Everything was going fine until we hit my personal red bulls eye word...EMPATHY.

EMPATHY by definition means:
the action of understanding, being aware of, being sensitive to, and vicariously experiencing the feelings, thoughts, and experience of another...Yes, ok, I'm fine with this, and encourage it without reservation.

Empathy in the workplace however has morphed into a strange beast that is hell bent on making us embrace mediocrity! Call me old fashioned, but when you take a job I believe you should be able to perform the job, and if your not up to speed on certain aspects, get the information/training you need and get up to speed tout suite (quickly)!

The very idea that a person cannot perform their job, cannot learn the necessary information to be able to perform their job, is not interested enough in their own abilities to task themselves to learn their position etc...is pure crap, and I for one am not letting them off the hook for it nor am I remotely interested in cutting them any slack over it!

Add in the rosy glow of Gen X and Yers who have little concept of, or patience for learning things they are not interested in, having to execute the non glamorous portions of their job as well as the fun stuff, and heaven for bid pay their dues and work their way up, and now I have to be empathetic while they are having the millionth meltdown over blah, blah, blah, and why weren't they promoted, after all they have been working for six solid months...OH PLEASE!!

So my final words on the subject go something like this...get over it, learn your stuff, do your job, wait your turn, and have your meltdowns with friends, off campus, over a latte...because I still have plenty of work to do!

And we're off...

Accounting for Beans

2009-12-22T17:54:00.000-08:00

As mentioned previously HR and Accounting usually have a close working relationship with various input and concerns regarding budgeting, recruitment, training, forecasting etc., which for the most part have parameters set and guidelines discussed.

So with all the previously mentioned big ticket items, why oh why am I crucified over ordering supplies?

No Joke!! I received an email from the CFO asking why I order so many coated paperclips and boxes of pens!! REALLY!!! I order one box of pens at the end of every year, which will last through the end of the next year! The same with paperclips, one box of coated colored paperclips which include both regular and jumbo size, and I am viewed as being a spend thrift!!

Well it all comes down to this, lets look at the money wasted on some of the useless mid-level Bobs who have yet to demonstrate any intrinsic company value and compare these $$$$$$$$ to my annual staples supply invoice $$. Account for them beans why don't cha!!

And we're off...

E = mc2

2009-12-21T17:15:00.000-08:00

HRSpout Theory of E = mc2 explained, aka, a message to Micro-managers wherever you are...

E = Energy
The energy it took for you to stand over me explaining the little crap you should be able to do yourself, but are too out of touch, since there have been several new incarnations processes which you have not bothered to stay up to date on, so you would not actually know how to do it yourself anymore, but still feel the need to tell me how its done...the old fashioned obsolete way!

M = Mass
The massive amounts of nano-seconds of my life lost listening to you blather on about this stupid shit, demonstrating yet again that you clearly have no concept of how we have progressed in the field of Human Resources and can now do things online, with carriers and vendors, some of it even in real time!

C2 = C squared/square of the speed of light
The actual time it takes me to log on and get some of these things done, but i let you think its laborious so I can somewhat count on your complete unwillingness to learn, to bolster my necessity for we hope a wee bit longer...in theory.

And we're off...

Royale Follow Up

2009-12-18T17:20:00.000-08:00

Today we decided it wasn't going to work and let the newbie go, nip that one in the bud before it becomes a problem!

Had to help B-Movie star find a new dentist, it seems he chipped a tooth recently!

A few of us took the the poky little puppy for goodbye lunch...he topped it off with two Michelob's...nice touch...lol!

Still decompressing , not much else to say right now!

Back in my corner on Monday and ready to come out swinging!

And we're off...

Holiday Royale 2009

2009-12-17T12:22:00.001-08:00

I'm sitting here basically doing my best impersonation of a root vegetable, thinking of what to open with. Truth be told, we pulled it off once again and fun was had by all! In no particular order...here we go!

Newbie
Our most recent hire (12/07) decided our holiday party was not mandatory and made other plans...well, after all, they did consult with our receptionist...REALLY!! Ever watch people hire the wrong person, even after you have told them repeatedly this is not a good choice...TOLD YA SO!! Your going to want popcorn for this show, cause the ending will be spectacular!

Receptionist
One of my direct reports, ignores the litany of emails I sent regarding timing, tasks and availability of our runner for breaks etc., day of our party! So after I give them their task lists that must be executed first thing in the morning, yes, this is the exact time to take a break, oh and while on that break run home and get your dish for the potluck, because it is all about you, your outfit, and your store bought Santa cake!! Briefly touched upon the issue yesterday and was met with major tude, discussed today in more detail after my second set of aspirin kicked in!

Awards and Prizes
This year, I was selected most likely to star in a Broadway musical...why is it so flippin hard to just win best office space!!

The raffle prizes provided the biggest tickle of the day because, not only did I win one of the two lunch on the company dime certificates, my daily lunch buddy and best friend won the other one!! HILARIOUS and 100% random!!! So many people expressed interest in going to lunch with us, never mind they could have gone at anytime before we had the certificates, no worries...We've started a wait list, ranking will be done in order of people who are least likely to talk about work at lunch and those who don't make me consider bitch slapping them at least once a day...short list really, should be easy!

Most Likely to Star in a B Movie went to the person who beat me out for Best Smile last year...I feel vindicated, his teeth are crooked anyway! He received the Rocky Horror Picture Show DVD, picked out by yours truly...tehehe:)

Most Likely to Brighten Up a Bad Day was handily won by one of our resident pooches! Have to say we all got that one right, she was so happy to receive her brand new squeaky toy in front of everyone then ignored us the rest of the day!

Biggest Story Teller, won by a guy who has been with us less than one year and has been late almost everyday since he started, but the stories are always involved and amusing. Most recently he shared the news his girlfriend is pregnant, so his prize was the children's book, The Poky Little Puppy's First Christmas! Oh yeah, he gave his resignation on Monday! Woo Hoo!!

Food and Drink
Very nice selection of food available, even after I weeded out all the dishes I would not eat because I know certain people do not wash their hands before leaving the restroom.
Drinks plentiful as always. I did miss the annual drunk Bob show when one of them starts hitting on any of the new young blonde staffers and their spouse falls off the steps onto whichever poor soul is standing right below them...last year it was me...good times!

Live Performances
Not as bad as anticipated. Still basically like a full on audition with a captive audience, but for those who are still impressed with working in entertainment and music it was a treat and remains one of the many things that set us apart from the hum drum corporate world. The rapper briefly looked my way while he was freestyling, I think my return stare let him know it was not going to be a good idea to say anything about me, he finished without incident...good boy!

Donations for the Homeless
Proud to say the box runneth over with new socks, tshirts, and undies in all sizes, for men, women and children! Will be taking those over to our local homeless shelter next week!

In summary, every year I swear this party and preparation is going to kill us, because people just do not have a clue how hard HR works to make it look seamless and easy, and every year when I've had enough and am completely over it, the party starts, the bubbly flows, the hugs are plentiful, people are happy, laughter fills the air, and I think we might just make it after all.

And we're off...

Spouting off Royally...tomorrow!!

2009-12-16T17:00:00.000-08:00

In the throws of holiday party set up, MC, prizes, awards, performances, schmoozing, pouring, sipping, piling plates, spilling, herding, clean up, bust down, tear up, throw out, escorting, calling cabs, snatching keys and just generally hanging out when we have a moment!

Will catch you up over the next two days!!

And we're off...

Too Busy to Spout!

2009-12-15T18:50:00.000-08:00

HRspout is too busy with final details and set up for our office Holiday party!!
Will report out tommorrow with a multitude of anecdotes for your holiday reading pleasure!

And we're off...

IT Knows It All...

2009-12-14T17:05:00.000-08:00

Ordinarily I would tell any person working in HR, your two biggest departmental allies will always be IT(Information Technology) and Accounting, anyone who denies it is clueless and lying!

Here the big bonus is IT knows everything!! Why bother bringing in professionals and representatives for health plan and dental questions, etc...IT can answer them all. It is really something to behold.

Example:

We had occasion to have a special dental open enrollment, we thought it important our broker and dental representative be on site to answer questions about switching plans, dentists, coverages etc...(I insist on doing this so employees have another point of reference to get the same information I tell them all year long).

So when the questions start, I kid you not, guess who has an answer for everything? IT!! How much will crowns cost under PPO, what about cosmetic dentistry services, how do I change dentists...IT ANSWERED ALL THE QUESTIONS!!! Well Damn, it appears the answers were here all along, right under our noses!!

Ever had to cut off someone in front of people without being offensive and they are totally oblivious as to why you are doing it, only to have them continue doing it because they think they are being uber helpful!! AWKWARD!! OMG!!

I wish I could say this was an isolated incident, but I would be lying! This is clearly a way of life for this person...how do I know, its simple...this special open enrollment meeting happened the day before our lifer lunch...three guesses who sat across from me at the lifer lunch?? Two guesses who answered any question lobbed out to the general gathering, including deciphering items on the MENU!! One answer...IT Knows It All!

And we're off...

There is Only so Much technology I will Embrace

2009-12-11T17:15:00.000-08:00

Over lunch a friend and I discussed previous employers and jobs we've held. We were basically bitching about our respective pay cuts and how similar our paychecks were to several years and jobs ago:( After a few minutes I actually felt better because I realized at least i am no longer wired for sound.

In a previous life, I was an Account Manager/Field Representative that had to be available 24/7 via, cellphone, pager (yes, i said pager) voicemail, email, bat signal and red phone. It was overwhelming at times, but the pay and commission checks more than compensated for the imposition on my personal life.

Today, working what I jokingly refer to as my non-profit / community service job, at least I have the freedom to say there is only so much technology I will embrace!

So far a blackberry, on which I enjoy more personal than work related use, has proven to be sufficient! Stepping back and appreciating the present, never hurts from time to time!

And we're off...

Cube Disease

2009-12-10T17:00:00.000-08:00

It is general knowledge, most employers have the same general layout when it comes to office environments, cubicles for most, offices for VP's and C-suites. Given this prevalent rule of thumb, it is amazing to witness people breezing through corridors only speaking to those in offices...Huh...REALLY?

Example:

Employee A had been a label executive in a previous life. When they hired on here, we only had cubicles available, no big deal, new kid starts where they start. Employee B begins corresponding with Employee A via email regarding various projects and deadlines, seems as though things are clipping along...until Employee B flies into town (on their broom)! When Employee B sees Employee A seated in a cubicle, icicles form and the ice age is upon us once again! (I neglected to mention Employee A was seated directly across from the office of Employee C). From that day forward, Employee B would fly into town and treat Employee A like Employee C's assistant!! If it weren't so truly obnoxious, I swear I would have stood right there and wet my pants from laughter! Fortunately Employee A had a great sense of humor, the patience of a saint, and wanted to ride it out for a little bit.

Flash forward, Employee A has now been promoted and moved into an office...three guesses who breezes into town and now meets and greets like they had never met before??

Moral of the story...cube disease is a stinky perfume, nobody wants a whiff!

And we're off...

Lifer Lunch (Life-er) (MWB)

2009-12-09T10:23:00.000-08:00

Today we have our annual Lifer Lunch for those who have been with the company five years or more! Traditionally it's a big deal for new inductees, who receive a very posh designer pen, and a warm welcome from those of us who have survived both trench and gorilla warfare to arrive at this point!! The only people more important than the newbies at the lifer lunch are the Decades (ten plus years - they receive special surprise gifts), of which there are currently five...Group totals 20 people this year!!

Our office is located near a very popular destination area, which has a myriad of culinary choices to suit every palette. Usually, we gather in the lobby and walk en masse to a swanky restaurant near by, which works best for all involved because inevitably there is a conference call or meeting someone has to finish up or leave early to attend.

For their part, the Bob's are in rare form when we start planning each year as this event is very personal and important to them, so important that we start planning this lunch a month in advance, so important that every detail is micromanaged, so important that Chief Bobs wife picks a lunch spot that we now have to drive to because its her favorite lunch spot, so important that Chief Bob has scheduled a lunch meeting with other people because Chief Bob forgot about our lifer lunch today!

The reality is, noone is surprised and really the most important thing is that we have Chief Bob's credit card, so things are looking up! And we're off...

Some of My Best Friends Are Programmers (MM)

2009-12-08T17:03:00.000-08:00

Not sure what level of exposure your average worker has to design and web development, but there is a particular breed of folks therein that just tickles my funny bone...The Programmers! I swear these people have made it through the evolutionary chain untouched, and their purity is awe inspiring!

Flash back and imagine my delight when we find ourselves recruiting for a programming position, and I unearth and interview this guy who is just the living embodiment of Adrian Monk!!

Some people are put off by quirky, I say pop some popcorn and enjoy the show! In this case it was summertime, so we had fresh fruit around the office and I had fresh grapes in a bowl on the table. Courtesy dictates I offer programmer some grapes, thinking it would break the ice a bit too. Small talk and now we are a few questions into the interview, programmer has not taken his eyes off of the grapes. Now asking more pointed questions, programmer is talking to the grapes, now asking for examples and programmer is giving examples to the grapes....no eye contact at all!!

Thinking this can't be as funny as I think it is, and still conducting the interview, I decide to see how far we can go with this, so I move the grapes ever so slightly, without hesitation programmer reaches out and moves them back!! Hilarious!! Trying not to laugh out loud, I now reach for the grape he was going to take, and am met with an awkward stare and for a brief moment all conversation stops!!

Their is a brief interruption and I see the end in sight, programmer has actually pulled off the interview on many levels, no eye contact and grape obsession aside, and will be meeting with the design team next for a panel interview.

As I push back from the table and reach forward to shake hands with programmer, I knock the bowl of grapes off the table into the trash can...programmer lunged sideways trying to save the grapes from certain inedible destruction, but was too late. Certain this moment hurt programmer more than myself, the only think left to do was share a moment of silence and walk out the door.

And we're off...

Recruitment and Email Addresses (JMM)

2009-12-07T16:00:00.001-08:00

Having just completed another round of recruiting for several positions, I am still amazed with the lack of attention focused on the use of personal email addresses!

Its incredible to me, a person could be so diligent in their preparation of a cover letter and resume, then expect me to respond to roundmounds38@hotmail.com or bigolepipe@gmail.com (fictitious email addresses...I'm hoping). Its just not going to happen.

HELP ME HELP YOU!

Two thing I appreciate and it may help those who aren't quite clear on the subject:

Email accounts/addresses are free, so create a generic one to use for employment correspondence. Remember simple is best.

Or

Use your alumni email address for submissions and resumes, and have it forward to you personal email account. In addition to being clean,simple and straight forward, it verifies that you are indeed an alumni of the schools you have listed on your resume.

Very basic I know, but making my job that much easier, brings you one step closer to being employed. And we're off...

P.S...resumes with photos are the same as holiday photo cards....NO NO NO!

HRSpout Office Hours

2009-12-07T15:55:00.000-08:00

Monday through Friday - all hours of inspiration
Saturday and Sunday - rest and relaxation
Holidays - as needed
and we're off...

Holiday Poke

2009-12-04T12:30:00.000-08:00

Writing about our Holiday party yesterday jogged a memory of last year's festivities, decided to share a slice with you and poke fun at myself...

Background: We decided to create the Best of the Most List, best office area, best laugh, most friendly, biggest storyteller, best smile, biggest flirt, most likely to secretly be a superhero, etc...and the winners would receive fun silly prizes.

Thinking I was a shoe in for best office area or best smile, you can imagine my surprise when the votes kept rolling in and I find myself runner up, a difference of one vote, for BIGGEST FLIRT!!!!! How wrong is that!! HR Manager winning biggest flirt!! Lies, jealousy and misunderstandings I tell you! Needless to say, I have learned to stop joking around about matching underwear, and maybe I should cut back on the hugging, but I draw the line at the smiles, because I should have won that category dammit!!

Doing Best of the Most again this year, changed some of the categories, one has been eliminated...Only you, me and my boss will ever know how close that one was!!

And we're off...

Office Holidays (MWB)

2009-12-03T16:03:00.000-08:00

Picture it, a mandatory staff meeting in which we are all told we will be taking immediate pay cuts, and experiencing layoffs, but don't worry the office holiday party is still on...for those of you that make the cut (qualifies as an HR nightmare)!!

The only way to top this would be to then gather the holiday Bob's committee, and commence to throwing out ideas for a party that shows no sensitivity to the sacrifices you just asked of your entire staff...so here we are!

I must admit there are genuine moments of amusement, especially considering how completely out of touch some executives come across but for now its:

Office Potluck with assorted beverages and liquor provided
Donations of socks and underwear for the homeless
three live screeching performances...hmmmmm
and a partridge in the proverbial pear tree

One of these things is not like the others...all works in progress...and we're off!

Favorite Things (HMG)

2009-12-02T15:06:00.000-08:00

1. Our old receptionist who would complain bitterly about being cold year round while sitting at reception in a spaghetti strap t-shirt...yeah put on some clothes, 40 year old boobs aren't the draw they used to be! Final note, when her space heater blew the circuit board and took the entire building out for a day or two, she moved up to t-shirts with cap sleeves:)

2. Who doesn't love the office holiday party and Secret Santa exchanges, especially when you pull your friends name out of the hat and decide the perfect gift under $20 is a bag of weed!
Really happened, still friends with both on facebook:)

3. Depending on the size of the company, HR frequently doubles as the facilities team, so when you call me about the toilets being backed up, it may not be a good time to strike up a conversation about the new cleansing program you just started...final note, everyone has been put on notice cleansing begins friday evenings at home...please and thank you!

4. Don't we all love the I'm too sexy for the office girl, who complains to HR that men are leering at her, and its making her uncomfortable...really hooty mcboob!! OK well , after sexual harrassment and sensitivity training, lets spend some time considering clothes that aren't hanging on for dear life.

5. Ahh the office romance...a few pointers, make sure they are not a basket case to begin with, don't try to find little projects for them to do in your division, not a great idea to sign a lease and move into the apartment building next door to the person, oh and when it all goes horribly wrong, don't keep sleeping with the person for months, and not introduce them to your parents when they are touring the office meeting everybody else you work with....final note, they are friends with each other on facebook, so it must have worked out somehow:)

And we're off...

HR & Popular Culture Legend

2009-12-02T14:07:00.001-08:00

Popular culture has finally exposed office environments in all their respective glory, and I fully intend to be a part of it!

The best, brightest and most enduring have been brilliantly illustrated by:

Dilbert
Monk
The Office (Across the Pond and Stateside)
Office Space
Jerry Maguire (really just one line)

Overtime you will find my posts peppered with references to any of these, for example:

Jerry Maguire Moment (JMM) - Help Me Help You
Monk Moment (MM) - Anything clearly OCD and hilarious
Meeting with the Bobs (MWB) - hot air sessions with consultants and executives
Hot Mess Gumbo (HMG) - a whole lot of everything and all of it wrong

Just wanted to get this established up front, so going forward we can focus on the task at hand...and we're off

Meet & Greet

2009-12-01T12:13:00.000-08:00

December 1st, 2009, as good a day as any to create one's very first blog entry!

I am a Human Resources Manager, working in Southern California, in what is fondly referred to as the entertainment industry, big umbrella, not as impressive as one would think!

My blog, HRSpout, will hopefully serve as a place where I can share my observations, thoughts and opinions that may be otherwise to sharp and/or biting for my daily audience (co-workers and peers). The main reason to contribute to this blog is to hopefully share the often hilarious side of human resource encounters, few if any are allowed to witness, and give you a sense of how things are often perceived by those who work on our side of the counter!

Be very clear, this blog is not meant to demean anyone, nor is it setting out to address any real concerns you may have about specific situations in your workplace. If I were to sum it up in terms of the only applicable equation I learned and retained from high school chemistry...
For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction.

Apologies in advance for grammar, punctuation, sentence structure...I'm a fairly quick study and should be up to speed shortly! On second thought, don't hold your breath! And we're off...